Sage of the Great Forest
by NeonZangetsu
Summary: Its easy to die. Surviving...that's the hard part. Or in my case, living. Unable to die. Unwilling to live. My reality was broken. So, I decided to fix it. To make a new one. It was supposed to be a game. An escape. I never expected it to become my new reality. But now that I'm here, I want to stay. I want to protect it. Them. This world is MINE! NarutoxNaberalxShaltear? VOTE!
1. Reboot

**A/N:** **HELLO CHAPS~! Miss me? VIVA LA REQUEST YEARS! Well, I've been gone awhile, but I'm back. Lets just say there were...issues with my health and such. But those are behind me! I fear not the flamers nor the flames that they bring, for I am back and I am here to STAY!**

 **Sooooo, at the time of this post the site is now fixed and reviews are showing up. WHOO!** **Also, just finished watching Overlord as of late. Very entertaining...BUT WHERE IS MY SEASON TWO, OI?! The manga and light novels can only sustain a man for so long! Naturally when this request came down the line, I just had to take it XD Naruto in the world of YGGDRASIL.**

 **BUT THERE ARE SO FEW STORIES OF IT AND ALL ARE INCOMPLETE?!** **WHY DID THEY ALL STOP?! Its so frustrating when I find a good story only to see it discontinued. Aye, I may be guilty of it at times, but at least I make efforts to go back to my works and update them when possible. Take "Date or Die" for example, I just gave that one a big honking update. Add to that the fact that I'm all but OBSESSED Overlord guarantees I won't drop this. I'm planning for...hmm...twenty chapters at minimum here, maybe.**

 **Additionally, and this might be a touch controversial, but I decided not to have Naruto in Nazarick. Why you ask? Because its been done by SEVERAL people. One can not simply replace AINZ OOAL GOWN as such and I don't like using concepts that have already been utilized. I might make an alternate fic with Naruto on his SIDE, but for now, let's go with this.**

 **THEREFORE!**

 **LET THE CRAZY TRIP BEGIN!**

 **I also take some liberties with Naruto's canon story-line here, so please, bear with me...**

 **...because the poor blond is a very sad puppy in this chapter T_T**

 **But can you blame him?**

 **Read on and see what I mean!**

 _"This reality means nothing to me without them..._

 _~?_

 **Reboot**

 _YGGDRASIL._

 _A unique DMMO-RPG (Dive Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game) developed in Japan, serviced from 2126 AD to 2138 AD. A world accessible with the 'Neural Nano-Interface', a new human brain augmentation which allows your mind to function as a supercomputer._ _A massive world, innumerable in its majesty. Countless skills, items, magic, and races._

 _Human._

 _Demi-Human._

 _Heteromorphic._

 _The maximum level cap for a player can reach is One Hundred. When a player character dies, they immediately lose five consecutive levels and drop their equipment. Death has no meaning here; if someone manages to kill you in this world you just reset and start over. Die. Reset. Repeat. An endless loop that works to eventually desensitize individual players towards their demise with only minor repercussions. I think its all a sick joke, really. When you suffer the smallest of penalty for perishing, why should you be afraid of it? In this world some have_

 _Its easy to die, isn't it?_

 _Living, well, that's the hard part._

 _Or in my case, living on and on and **ON.**_

 _You'd think immortality-that is, the inability to die through age-would be a good thing, right? I mean, you could live to the heat death of the universe for crying out loud! See everything! DO anything you wanted. Life itself would be like a game. That would be wonderful, wouldn't it? To live without fear of death, to exist for all eternity? Immortal? Ageless? Timeless?_

 ** _Wrong._**

 _I despise life._

 _I abhor life._

 _I hate life._

 _I've lost everything to this experience of "living" when I wish only for death. Death that laughs at me, a demise which refuses to come. When you possess an immortal body that refuses to submit to the whims of time, yet made to look on while everyone you love and hold dear is bound by it? Trying to start again over and over AND OVER only to meet the same outcome._

 _So, when the chance was presented to me to get it all back and KEEP it, I jumped at it._

 _If I could make a world to replace the one I lost, even in a false setting, wouldn't it be grand?_

 _This is how the grand guild of Konoha, MY guild, came to be._

 _Yes, yes, yes, I know what you're thinking, here. Naruto, you idiot! Its not the same! How can a facsimile make up for the real thing?! To that, I say this: sometimes the illusion of happiness is better than no happiness at all. That's Madara logic right there but WHAT ELSE COULD I DO?! Being ageless doesn't give you godly powers, ya know! It doesn't matter how hard you work to preserve life, eventually, some way SOMEHOW, your precious people will die and **YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT?!**_

 _Ahem._

 _If I could've brought them back by my own power, I would. But I don't have the fucking Rinnegan and it doesn't matter if I can crush a mountain. Against time, I'm as powerless as anyone else. Forced to watch as my friends and family grow old without me and wither away. To see them pass on and be forced to march over their corpses. Its not fair! I refuse to acknowledge that reality-no, I REJECT IT!_

 _So I threw my old life away and flung myself into fantasy._

 _My Guild._

 _Konoha._

 _And now that world is about to be taken away._

* * *

 _(...The Guild of Konoha...)_

* * *

Naruto watched the timer like a hawk.

Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

Tock.

It was there in the corner of his vision, a steady clock winding down to the end. He'd thought about blocking it, but decided against it on a whim. Every last second in this world was precious to him and the anxiety that plagued his heart was a small price to pay for the beautiful gem he'd crafted. Even if it did feel like a hollow pane of glass without the rest of his friends. Still, the first-level and cityscape of his village was wonderful for the eye to behold, even as the sun slowly set over the stern stone faces. It almost reminded him of hime.

Even if he had added a few...embellishments.

Atop his dragon bone throne, he cast his gaze down and found himself alone.

Again.

"Nobody came, huh?" he elf sighed, shoulders drooping regarding the nine empty seats opposite him, the empty village below. "I'm not surprised. "It's not like I've been the most social guy lately. Still...

A gauntlet imperceptibly tightened around the black staff in his hand.

...I wish they'd accepted my apology."

His avatar was a thing of terror in its towering crimson plate, over which a cloak of white and red was cast, seeming to shimmer with flames. neither man nor beast but something trapped between the two. He'd chosen a Dark Elf as his character. A strange hybrid of sorts and one fashioned to look like him, if only with slightly darker skin and the trademark ears that came with this particular race. He'd made it on a whim. It allowed for equal parts magic and warrior skills-such as they were-in equal measure, and while they couldn't quite measure up to the massive strength he wielded in reality they were still a close second. A damn shame YGGRDASIL wouldn't let him toss Rasenshuriken's around but-

 _Tick._

Unbidden, his gaze strayed back to the timer.

Less than five minutes remained as of now.

Mismatching blue-red eyes narrowed.

 _ **"DAMNIT!"**_

Roaring, he leaped from the throne, thrust an open palm at one of the stone faces and called a seventh tier spell.

Countless algorithms flared to life as the blast of wind roared from his palm, calculating the magical strength of his avatar, the amount of MP he still retained, as well as the indestructible environment. In the end his ill-thought out spell simply caromed harmlessly off one of the six faces and arched away into the sky. The NPC's below didn't react, likely because they perceived an attack from their lord as a non-threat. Despite that, Naruto immediately felt guilty for his actions and cringed.

He'd worked so hard to construct this place and here now at the end, he was going to lash out?

Shaking his head, the armored blond shuffled towards the doors.

"I'm such a hypocrite...

Twin orange gates-because ORANGE and why the hell not?-opened for their master, exposing a long hallway leading deeper into the "center" of his world. Unwilling to waste time, Naruto strode through at a brisk pace, his armor clanking loudly. Massive, hulking lanterns on either side of the wall burst into existence a this passage, brilliant pillars of flame springing to life to light the way. Once, he would have stopped to admire them, but today he was in a hurry, and spared no time for them.

Konoha had never contained so many "floors" in all of its existence, but the rest of the guild had been adamant and overrode his wishes. What was the point of having a dungeon with only one level, they'd said? In the end he'd seen the logic of their argument, and it was one of the few times he didn't regret it. And so did the Ten Floors of the Great Forest come to be.

It was one of the few concessions he'd made.

After a short walk, he would be using his guild ring to teleport to the tenth.

Whether by design or accident, each "level" resembled a piece of his past, in a sense. Some were villages he remembered fondly, others distant lands. He'd memorized them all. The First and Seconds floors were "Leaf" and thus under strict guard by Sasuke. The third and fourth were, "Sand" and thus Gaara's domain, while the fifth was realm of "Mist" followed by "Poison" and so on. Thus it went, with each of the ten floors possessing at least one or more guardians to prevent entry by raiding parties. He remembered each of them by heart, each individual a specter of his past, those who had changed his life for good or ill. Some were even old enemies, now turned allies. Others weren't even in the human class at all. Some, like him, were demi-humans. Others were outright monsters masquerading as humans.

Perhaps that was petty of him.

Although making Bee the guardian of the Eigth floor was a bit too much in hindsight...

Then again he might have gone a _tad_ overboard when he'd recreated Jiraiya in that vein as well. Honestly, programming was a tricky business and he was half-certain some members of his guild had lent some of his old friend certain "eccentricities" that hadn't been there before. Oh, well. It was too late to wonder about that now.

 _Ting!_

A quiet ding informed him that his telportation was successful and in a swirl of light, he made haste to his final destination.

At the end of a short hallway awaited several doors.

The entire room itself seemed a maze to the untrained eye, filled to the brim with doors of every possible color, some large, some small, some tall, others wide. Doors on the wall, doors on the ceiling, even doors etched into the very floor itself! All but one were enchanted with traps. If you picked the wrong door you'd be telported somewhere unpleasant at the very least. At the worst, you'd suffer instant death, lose all your equipment, and be forced to start over from the very beginning. For any player who devoted their time to clearing out the monsters and traps of the great forest, it was absolutely _maddening_ to have their progress reset, all because they chose the wrong door.

Naruto chose the second on the right.

A simple creation furnished to appear of oaken wood, it was neither enchanted nor reinforced with spells; because there was simply no need for such. If the Guardians could not prevent intruders from trespassing, if the Anbu assassins with their multitude of tricks and traps proved ineffective and the horde of false doors could not delay them, then they would come face to face with the ultimate challenge here. The members of the guild themselves.

To his dismay, that day had never come. And now it never would. All of his god-level equipment and items meant nothing. Even the mighty staff in his hand, _Death's Scorn,_ had no purpose anymore. His world champion armor _Rust of Blood_ , despite its imposing name, served no further means either. He merely wore it and his fashioned hokage-cloak as a symbol of the guild. He'd adopted the sacred moniker of "Rikudo", the Sage of Six Paths, in this reality, but what good had it done? Nothing.

Now, steeling himself, he opened the door.

It parted before him with the lightest touch.

Revealed was a humble, sparsely furnished room with a bed and little else beyond it, save a small table with a teapot and pieces of fine china. A lone figure sat at the end, her back to him. She did not react to him, nor did she rise at his presence.

He stepped inside and shut the door.

"I'm home."

Silence answered.

Naruto sighed.

"Not like I expect you to answer or anything...

Nearly midnight now and still the timer continued its inevitable countdown to oblivion; inexorable as the gears of fate ground themselves towards that final finish. And once more, he found himself powerless against the whims of time. Once midnight struck he'd be booted from the server and his perfectly crafted world would vanish once again. The thought made his heart wrench painfully even in this fantasy world. He told himself that this wasn't truly his body even as he grasped at his chest, just an avatar, but the pain was there all the same.

Of course, he could always start over in another game, his mates said.

It would be simple they thought, easy for one skilled as him.

That had been the beginning of the end.

Because he didn't want to start over.

This was HIS WORLD!

More than ten years-an entire decade-were sacrificed here, spent feverishly leveling himself up to the absolute maximum, tweaking the settings of this world to their absolute breaking point. Rebuilding the smoldering ashes of his past. With skill and charisma did he bring others to his side. With fire and fury did he lead them, conquering this area, this great swathe of land. Lovingly, had he instructed them, directed them in molding this great complex in the forest, painstakingly breathing life into a bygone era long since forgotten.

His family!

Everyone!

All those he held dear were here in the Great Forest of Many Leaves. It was a horrible, corny name, but it fit.

He'd skimped out on raids and quests, ignored punitive expeditions to the Great Tomb of Nazarick, all for for this. To make this world and maintain it, to the point of become withdrawn and distant to all others. And one by one did they drop away, until he finally found himself alone with his regret and these lifelike dolls. It didn't matter if they couldn't speak to him, if they were set and regulated by the infernal commands of the system. They wore the faces of his friends, and they were programmed to act as such. He was their leader, the Hokage, Fire Shadow if you were feeling eloquent, Supreme Being, and so forth.

And it was here, near the very heart of his domain, that the one most near and dear to his heart dwelt.

His daughter.

His hope.

His life.

"Hello, Yui."

Grey eyes rose to meet his as he inserted himself into the seat opposite her. She didn't react, even when he summoned a fresh kettle of tea and poured himself a glass. Nor did she touch her own when he moved to fill it for her. She remained as lifeless and complacent as the day he'd created her in this realm. She wouldn't even move unless he instructed her as such.

Before Naruto knew it, he started talking.

"So," He began, "I'm afraid we, ah," a sniff, "Won't be seeing each other for awhile...

No response.

"I'm sorry." the blond found himself apologizing. "I know you can't talk, but since today's the last day, could you just here me out? I'm sorry. I feel fucking horrible for recreating you and the others like this, but I just couldn't let you go. You understand, right? Its not my fault. I didn't mean for things to get out of control like this. I was just so _lonely_ and when I found this game I thought it would be an escape. But before I knew it I started building things, making things, creating you...

The silence was deafening.

"Right." he facepalmed, humiliated. "Why am I even doing this?"

 _'I'm having a tea party with my dead daughter,'_ some small, morbid part of him mused. _'Wow. This is really fucked up.'_

He hadn't had the heart to make her mother. That was a past too painful. Recreating Hinata as a faceless drone would break something in him, of that much he was certain. So he'd settled for the daughter they'd had together. Sometimes looking at _her_ proved too much for him as well. But he couldn't bring himself to delete that smiling face. All dark hair and grey eye-he'd never figured out who she got those from-she wore a light white dress and carried no weapons to speak of. She didn't need to, because in _this_ world he'd made her a powerful sorceress, eclipsed only by him. She was the leader of all the Guardians, their captain, and she had never once left this room.

Never smiled.

In his reality, she had been the light of his life before a sudden illness took her at the tender age of ten. Hinata hadn't had the heart to try for more children after that. Neither did he. He'd painstakingly written her backstory and programming to the letter, yet for all the good that had done, she would not change.

"Drink your tea, Yui." he instructed.

As ever, his daughter didn't respond verbally, only nodding and moving to comply. A small hand fell to the glass and raised it to her lips, her blank expression never changing. Not a once. Even something as simple as this was bending the rules. She couldn't do anything else. Facial expressions were not something YGGRDASIL was yet capable of. Perhaps the next game would contain this much-needed improvement. Perhaps. If he didn't loose his mind first. If madness didn't take him from losing this, his last bastion of sanity, false though it was.

 _If._

Smiling at his expressionless daughter, Naruto felt something in him break.

"Good girl."

In his peripherals, the timer counted down to the last thirty seconds. Naruto sighed quietly, shaking his head. He could think of no better place than to spend his final moments in this world. This would do. He would spent his last moments here with family, or at least a close approximation of it. Across from him, Yui continued to drink her tea, quiet as the grave and despite himself, the Sage suppressed a sigh.

So.

This was it.

This was where it would end.

Years of living in a fantasy world, indulging himself in a past long since forgotten. It was shameful. Humiliating. No wonder everyone had left him behind. His hand fisted tightly around the glass, and had it been real, it would have shattered. It wasn't fair. He'd worked so hard to fashion this place. He'd fought, and sacrificed and bled to see this reality made real. And in a few moments, it would be gone. Taken from him by a bunch of old men who no longer saw profit in maintaining what had been-for him-a desperate escape from reality.

Now it was over.

A rueful chuckle escaped him.

"This isn't so bad," he declared with a trembling voice, closing his eyes. "I can't think of any other place I'd rather be." The lie tasted like as on his tongue, and he willed the tears not to come. He wasn't going to cry. No tears. None. He refused to let his last moments be ones of weakness. Five seconds now, the time scraping away the last precious moments of his peaceful refuge. Four. Three. Two. One.

Zero.

Any moment now.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

Blue eyes snapped open.

"What?"

Instead of the muted walls of his home he found he was still in his sanctuary. Still with Yui. Scarlet, armored arms met his gaze when he looked down, their weight a minor annoyance in the back of his mind. Blinking, he curled his hands into fists. What? Had they delayed the sever shutdown, somehow? Was there a lag of some sort? Had there been a delay? He could still taste the tea running down the back of his throat, that faint heady aroma of its leaves wafting through the air to warm his face.

Wait a minute.

 _Taste?_

Naruto bolted upright with a start, eyes widening. You weren't able to taste anything in this game! You couldn't smell anything, either! His fingers reached for a menu. Nothing happened. His hand swiped through empty air. When he looked for the timer in his peripherals, he found it had vanished. So, in fact, had all of the stats from his vision. That was his first realization that something had gone wrong. Terribly. Horribly. Wrong. There must have been an error of some sort, a mistake, a glitch or maybe-

 _"Papa?"_

He froze.

Every fiber of his being went rigid as a thin, soft, reedy little voice filled the air. His head twitched, his neck longing to turn and confirm what he'd just heard. He didn't want to look. _Should_ he look? Did he dare? Almost against his will, he did just that, succumbing to the burning curiosity. Ignoring the sudden stinging sensation in his eyes, Naruto Uzumaki turned, half-expecting to find nothing. Surely this was some fever dream, or an illusion, a product of his own hyperactive imagination, strained to the breaking point by all this stress.

Yui's small face looked up at him, her large grey eyes full of warmth and confusion. As he looked on, baffled, she tilted her head.

Then she _spoke again._

"Would you like some more tea?" a tiny hand rose, offering him the teapot.

Naruto blinked.

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

...

...

 _...what the hell?!"_

Then his eyes rolled back into his head and he passed out.

 **A/N: Aaaaaaaaaand there we go! An ageless, immortal, or at the very least, ridiculously hard to kill, Uzumaki Naruto, in the Overlord Universe. Expect all sorts of hell to break loose in the most silly and inane of ways!** **I eagerly await your reviews and responses to both that fic, and this! Don't worry, some scenarios may prove quite different from the one in the show, but I want to dedicate a full chapter to each at the least, not to mention the INSANITY that will come about when Naruto inevitably encounters Ains himself. Look forward to it, ya know!**

 **So...in the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review, Would You Kindly? And of course, enjoy the preview! Hope it makes you smile. And Review! Or face the wrath of TOHKA! BAHAHAHA! I'm also switching things up here! Tis a short one, but there are two!**

 **(Preview)**

 _"All Hail the Sage of Six Paths!"_

 _"Banzai!"_

 _As one, the knelt._

 _"All hail the supreme one!"_

 _"Banzai!"_

 _Naruto blanched, mortified._

 _"HEY! Guys, c'mon! Don't bow!"_

* * *

 _"Holy crap a skeleton?!"_

 _Had Ainz Ooal Gown possessed eyelids, he would have blinked._

 _...what?"_

 **R &R!=D**


	2. Install

**A/N: ALRIGHT! This fic is in FIFTH PLACE for the most reviewed Overlord fic! Let's get it up to number one, guys! We can do it!**

 **HELLO CHAPS~! Miss me? VIVA LA REQUEST YEARS! Well, I've been gone awhile, but I'm back. Lets just say there were...issues with my health and such. But those are behind me! I fear not the flamers nor the flames that they bring, for I am back and I am here to STAY!**

 **Sooooo, time to answer your questions!**

 **Q: How can Shaltear be part of the pairing? Aren't she and Albedo in love with Ains?**

 **A: Albedo certainly is in love with Ains, but only because he warped something in her. I find her love for Ains rather amusing, really. Shaltear doesn't have such a solid rule, and as we have seen in the manga, the NPC's themselves can evolve and change over time, even think independently for themselves. Who is to say that Naruto can't catch her eye? That he can't impress her? Remember, he isn't exactly human himself...**

 **Q: Will Naruto be in conflict with Ains, or will he help him? Will they be enemies?**

 **A: Not enemies as of yet, but...well, future chapters should enlighten you.**

 **Q: This has POTENTIAL. Will other characters like Yui from different animes/shows pop up in Naruto's little "family"?**

 **A: Read this chapter to find out. It won't be too major. But it'll be amusing.**

 **Q: Hey, when can we expect the pranks to start?**

 **A: Pranks you say? Oh, there will be much more than that! Naruto isn't the sort to tolerate being looked down on or any of his allies for that matter, and pranks are his way of getting back at those he feels have earned his wrath, without killing them. There will be significant trolling in this story on both sides. Naruto and Ains are masters of such things.**

 **Q: So, can we expect more children-like Yui-to be born into this world? As in little blond's running about? *wink***

 **A: BOLD AREN'T YOU?! Yes, that may well become a thing, but no so early!**

 **NOW THEN!**

 **LET THE CRAZY TRIP CONTINUE!**

 **A LOT OF THINGS HAPPEN HERE!**

 **Do try to keep up, my beloved fans =D**

 _"...why are you sniffing me?"  
_

 _"Because you smell wonderful!"_

 _"OI!"_

 _~Naruto and...?~_

 **Install**

 _Journal Log Entry: #2_

 _What._

 _The._

 _FUCK._

 _What the hell what the hell what the hell whatthehell_ _whatthehell_ _whatthehell_ _whatthehell_ _WHAT! THE! FUCKING! HELL!_

 _What's going on here?!_

 _This doesn't make any sense! How could this world suddenly become something else? Or is it somewhere? Somewhen? Gah! No sense! No sense at all! This! Was! A Game! I! Tell you! A game! Not real! False! A world of fiction dreamed up by me to assuage my guilt and loneliness! I crafted it with painstaking care! Nothing was left out! Not a single speck ignored! Granted, I wasn't exactly meticulous once I'd reached my goal, afterward though. I might've missed a few things, and allowed others, but still! Pretty damn sure my powers don't include warping the fabric of space and time itself!_

 _Alright._

 _Freak out over._

 _Breathe, Naruto._

 _Breathe._

 _In and out._

 _In._

 _Out._

 _Innnnn..._

 _...ouuuuuut._

 _Okay._

 _It doesn't bother me._

 _Nope. Not a bit._

 _It doesn't bother me, it doesn't bother me, it bothers me!_

 _IT BOTHERS ME A LOT!_

 _After my little fainting spell, I ordered Yui to summon the Guardians and Anbu Captains to the fifth floor in an hour. Why? Simple. I want-n_ _eed!-a head count. Need to see how they react to me. Need to be sure this isn't a dream concocted by my broken mind. How will they see me? Will they respect me as loyal friends with genuine emotions? Or, will they try to tear my throat out for desecrating their memory? I'm not sure which would be worse._

 _I need to figure this out..._

 _Because someway, somehow, my carefully crafted illusion has become a reality. That reality has trapped in a world I don't truly understand. By all rights I should be terrified. Horrified. In all the scenarios I'd planned for this was never one of them. I never expected to wake up one day and find everything to be REAL. My actions have consequences. If even one tenth of them are as real as Yui...well, I don't know what I'm going to do. I have to give orders. I have to establish balance._

 _But...is it so wrong for me to be happy?_

 _Haven't I at least earned that right?_

 _To enjoy this, for a while?_

 _Just a little?_

 _Shit._

* * *

 _(...The Seventh Floor of Konoha...)_

* * *

Atop his throne, the Sage of the Great Forest looked up from his mental journal...

...and sighed.

"So that's how it is." he finished, instructing the kneeling individual with more than a touch of unease. "As Chief Scout, I am entrusting you with this matter." When the NPC didn't respond, Naruto gave another sigh and allowed himself to slip back into his cultivated persona. "Your orders are as follows. Firstly-you are to depart the Great Forest immediately and report back on our surroundings and any items of interest. Secondly-do not engage any enemies. Your life is of the utmost importance. Investigate any nearby settlements you find and report back. Do you understand?"

Impossibly, the Chief Scout bowed deeper.

"Understood, Lord Naruto!"

Naruto shifted on his seat, restraining a wince.

"Are you sure about that...

It certainly felt strange speaking to a dead man.

...Neji?"

"Absolutely, sire!"

The individual prostrating himself before him was a dear friend, and never once had he called him that. It was...jarring to say the least. He was even wearing the same attire now as he had on the day of his unfortunate demise. And yet they were here, in this new world, having a conversation. A stilted one, mayhaps, but still...

"And stop calling me that."

Neji blinked, a look of dismay crossing his stoic features.

"But sire, for a supreme being such as yourself-

"Gah, fine, fine!" Naruto waved a hand, shushing him. "I get it. Now go. I expect your report in an hour."

"Yes, sir!"

 _"Stop that!"_

The Hyuuga offered the ghost of a smile and departed in a swirl of leaves.

Not a moment later, Naruto's right eye began to twitch.

"Ruined, ruined, ruined!" he grumbled to himself, staring at his surroundings in vain. "When the hell did this happen?! My beautiful garden! _Soiled!"_

Where one to follow his gaze, they would soon see what had driven the blond to madness.

The seventh floor of Konoha resembled something out of a gladiator's wet dream; a towering amphitheater reminiscent of the great his very first Chunin Exam, so long ago. In the beginning it was a thing of beauty, a sheer and pure reflection of his trials so long ago. Now...well, the resemblance proved only passing at best. Still, it _was_ the arena of Konoha...if their Chunin Exams had been in collosseum filled with torches and spikes and all other manner of garish instruments and overseers. It looked like a massive open-air torture chamber.

 _'My perfect world has been corrupted by those perverted idiots.'_ the blond quietly bemoaned, palming his face. _'This is what happens when I let others run loose in my paradise..._

"Papa?"

Blue eyes snapped open with a start.

"Hmm? What? Who, now?" Naruto blinked, shifting against his throne. Now that he could actually _feel_ it he was beginning to wonder if he should just melt the damn thing down and build a new one. Sitting on a throne of blades? What had he been thinking?! One of his more eccentric mates had insisted on it, and he'd let them have their way on a lark. They'd gone on about it being the pride of "The Seven Kingdoms" or somesuch, a passionate plea that eventually moved him enough to yield. He was beginning to regret that decision now, as he felt the sharpened swords dig into the back of his neck and posterior but he refused to show weakness.

What the hell was Game of Thrones anyway?

"You started muttering to yourself after Uncle Neji left." Yui stated, her soft voice drawing him out of his reverie once more. "Is everything alright?"

"T'was nothing," he muttered, reflexively slipping back into character. "I was merely pondering." Not a lie. He had been doing just that, but not on the matter she thought. _She._ An absent hand reached out, stroking her head and eliciting a pleased giggle from the girl. His girl. His daughter. Come back to him in this strange new world. He made no distinction. She'd been created to believe she was Yui. She acted like Yui. She did all the things his daughter had done while she was alive. She acted like her, and unlike the rest, had been painstakingly programmed with every memory he possessed of her, for he knew her best. She lived. Breathed. Had a pulse. She laughed. She cried. She smiled.

In his eyes, that _made_ her Yui.

She simply had crazy magic powers this time around.

A bit of an improvement there, actually.

"Have the Floor Guardians been summoned?" he inquired, realizing his daughter was staring at him.

"Hai," Yui chirped happily, hands clasped behind he back. "Sasuke-san and the others should be here shortly."

Naruto nodded absently, tapping his fingers against the throne.

"Good, good...

"Neh, papa?"

"Hmm?"

Mismatching blue-red eyes turned back to his daughter, his head still swimming with dark thoughts. As such, Naruto found himself rather stymied when her small hand reached out and clasped his. Pale fingers gripped down on his armored gauntlet with surprising strength, snaring both it and his attention in one fell swoop. The quavering yet determined look in those silver-grey eyes did far more to rebuke him than any blow possibly could. Clasping his hand tighter, but tentatively, almost as if she were afraid he would pull away.

"Can we go out and play after this?"

Something in him melted.

 _...I'm such a fool.'_

Shifting in his grand throne, the armored blond leaned forward and placed his free hand atop hers.

"Of course." he soothed, patting her head. "As soon as I've conducted my business with the others we can play to your heart's content." Dream or not, he was in no hurry to escape this world. If this was the one and only place where he could be reunited with his daughter, then here he would gladly stay.

"Yay!"

Her smile was pure sunshine.

Still, what _was_ taking everyone so long?

He tried to recall each of the Floor Guardians and their subordinates by heart and found that, suddenly, he couldn't. He knew many of the Guardians themselves, but then there was the Anbu Division and he'd never really spoken to many of them, save but for a handful. Not to mention the creations of his allies and there were no counting those. Oh, he knew his quite well, he simply realized that this "change" might have altered them, as well.

Part of him remained stoic on the matter.

He felt calm. Almost oddly so.

His panic hadn't lasted long at all, in fact, he found himself almost pleased by the situation. Curious, but pleased.

Still, an increasingly small part of him began to fret.

Then again, he was fairly certain some had followed his lead a touch _too_ much and created characters of their own. Some had even gone a step further and used his "ideals" to copy existing ones into this world. That is to say others from different realms. Until now, he hadn't given the matter much thought. He was quite content with his family and the world he'd created. Let the other guild members create or recreate whomever they wished from their "shows" or "comics" and the like he'd decided, it mattered not a wit to him. They could play in his paradise as long as they wished, so long as they didn't break it.

Of course, that had been _before_ everyone left _._ Before reality turned itself on its head and everything became real.

Now, chances were, he was going to have to deal with the fallout of their actions.

Anime.

Movies.

Television.

Who knew what-who!-manner of characters they might have created when he wasn't looking?

To be perfectly fair, Naruto never was and had never been one to indulge in such things. Not when he had a world to recreate. He certainly didn't _know_ what anime or manga was for that matter. Despite his personal reservations at the time, he'd let his guildmates run wanton with their desires, banning only their most heinous creations when threatened by the Administrators. There was one blue-haired woman in particular who'd toed that line, dangerously so, until her maker's increasingly disturbing pastime's found him at odds with Naruto. Arguments ensued, followed shortly thereafter by chaos. In the end, the perpetrator was kicked not only from Konoha, but YGGDRASIL itself.

Supposedly he was languishing in a prison somewhere in Tokyo for deviant behavior.

The very thought made Naruto shudder.

As Guild Master, the choice had ultimately fallen to him whether he should or should not delete everything left behind by his former guildmate. Most of it proved simple. He'd auctioned off the man's armor and items in a fit of rage and the ex-guildmember's substantial fortune went straight to Konoha's coffers, as did everything he wasn't able to sell. But on a whim-he'd decided to let his creation be. Empathy, mayhaps? Knowing what it meant to pour your heart and soul into something, only to have it languish in limbo for eternity.

Perhaps that was an act of folly on his part. Still, he couldn't bring himself to regret it.

She'd been left to languish on one of the lower levels ever since, another testament to his weakness. He'd visited her on occasion to make certain she hadn't wandered off to one of the higher floors and each time swore he would delete her and end this pitiful farce. But always he came up short, unable or unwilling to simply wipe her from existence.

If she had indeed come to life with the rest of this world, that one might prove to be something of a problem child...

The name of "that man's" creation remained with him to this very day, if only because he hadn't bothered to remember that. A sadistic blade-wielding sorceress who specialized in all things ice. He'd taken a glimpse at her "backstory" once and it had been...worrying. Her creator had been had either been a monster, or an absolute _demon_ for writing such a twisted past for her. Certainly some of those aspects qualified such a being as a devil? Something told him he was about get a crash course, in the near future.

As if waiting for that very moment, the door at the far end of the arena crashed open with a harsh bang.

His musings broken, Naruto looked up.

And blinked.

Once.

Twice.

Thrice.

Four times.

Only then did his brain reboot.

"Eh?"

Even from this distance his _Keen Eye_ ability allowed him to make out her discerning features. As such he found himself face to face with a tall, beautiful and slender woman fresh out of a madman's demented dream, her deep blue eyes a near-flawless match to long, light blue tresses. Clad in a grey uniform that somehow succeeded in both clinging to her every curve while exposing an egregious amount of cleavage, she managed to convey a sense of regality and quiet menace all at once as his eyes trailed over her long sleeves, the blue scarf on her neck, and high-heeled boots. She also had a tattoo on her chest-and what a chest it was!-signifying some eldritch purpose he couldn't quite remember. He didn't have to. Because while he might not understand its purpose, he recognized her. And he knew that look in her eyes well.

All too well.

That grin told all.

"Ah, Darling~!" A voice clear as the coldest stream trickled through his ears. "So this is where you were!"

Naruto sweat-dropped.

"D-Darling...?"

"Auntie Esdeath!" Yui chirruped nearly simultaneously.

CRACK.

The blond's head whipped around comically and he felt something pop in his neck.

 _"Aunt?!"_

Yui blinked innocently. "Is something wrong?"

Naruto's thoughts snowballed spectacularly after that.

 _'What the hell's going on, here?!'_ Backing away, mind reeling, he struggled to understand this sudden and unexpected turn of events. _'I didn't add that! Wait. Did I? No! I would've remembered! Did someone mess with their backstory? No, I would've been notified if something like that had happened! Did Esdeath's creator write something like that in her own backstory and now its affecting reality? Is that it? Damnit, Go-kun! You just had to get the last jab in, didn't you?!'_

"Mah, Darling? You aren't thinking of running away from me, are you...?"

"Run?" Naruto's head snapped up. "What are you talking ab-

He suddenly realized that Esdeath was still advancing.

A feral gleam glimmered in her ice-blue eyes.

The dark elf nearly choked on his spit.

 _'Oh, crap.'_

That was all he had time to must before the bluenette burst into a mad giggle and burst forward at the speed of sound. She did not pause nor did she slow down; simply launching herself from one end of the arena to the other in a single leap before throwing her arms around his neck in a hug. The sudden and sheer _momentum_ behind the embrace caught the Sage woefully off guard, slamming him off his feet and back against the throne with a dull thud. It wasn't enough to do any real damage mind you thanks to his _Passive Regeneration_ , but he now had a rather buxom beauty in his lap. And for the life of him, he didn't know what to do with her!

"Ah, my precious Darling," A wet tongue flitted between full lips as Esdeath ground herself against him, her expression bordering on euphoric. "You summoned me!" she purred, nuzzling his cheek with her own. "After all this time! I'm so happy!"

Her lips brushed his whilst her hips continued that infuriating motion, and Naruto found himself suddenly very, very, VERY glad he was wearing armor. Hypothetical erections and all that.

 _'Wait, wait, wait! Get ahold of yourself, me! Think this through!'_

"I did?" he managed to get out. "You are?"

"Hai!" Her face was eagerness personified. "As Head Torturer, I watch over this area with Madara-sama. So when your summons reached us, I hurried here ahead of him!"

She did? Hmm. Semantics.

Then the rest of her words hit.

Naruto swore.

 _Madara?_

Right.

He'd almost forgotten about that wily ol' bastard. That he'd even bothered to create him in this world. Not one of his better ideas, there. To be fair, he'd been feeling spiteful at the time, and he'd tried to scale down the man's madness the best way he could, by simply cutting it out. Less crazy was always a good crazy, in his mind. WAY less crazy. It also brought up the manner of loyalty. Yui was Yui, so he didn't doubt her, but he had yet to confirm the loyalties of the rest of the Great Forest beyond her and Neji. Still, there was one way to confirm his hypothesis.

"Alright, that's enough." he commanded, narrowing his eyes at Esdeath. "Get off. Yui's watching. There will be time for this later."

Esdeath's response was as swift as it was immediate.

"Ah! Yui-chan!"

 _"Eeep!"_

The little girl scarcely had time to squeak before the ice-wielder bolted off the blond's lap and swept her up into her arms. Holding her tight. Naruto openly guffawed at the spectacle, barking out a soft chuckle as he saw how flustered the normally stoic Yui became once she found herself trapped in the bluenette's bosom. Not surprising really, given the woman's monstrous strength...

A thought occurred to him, then.

"Esdeath."

"Yes, Darling?" dropping Yui, the woman's face once more composed itself into a cold mask. "Is there anything else you require?"

 _'Again, with the Darling, oi?! But still, this is a good opportunity.'_

Naruto took a moment to contemplate just that.

"Well, I wanted to test some things...

Blue eyes fluttered in a blink.

"You mean a spar?"

Naruto shrugged.

"Well, yeah. That'd work...why are you smiling, oi?"

Esdeath's only response was a soft hum.

"No reason...

 _"Riiiiiight."_

Her lavicious grin reminded him of a panther about to pounce. A hunter, at the peak of their chase, their climax. And that look was locked on him. Oi, oi, oi! Who had a smile like that?! Was she even human?! Realizing he might've just invited a quite literal ice queen to his doorstep, Naruto reached behind his back. Sure enough Death's Scorn was there; the weapon seemed to sing in his hand, eager and willing to do battle. Giving it a light twirl, the dark elf deemed it satisfactory and against his better judgement, leveled it at Esdeath.

"I'll be intruding for a short while, then." he declared.

"Its no intrusion at all!" Esdeath shook her head rapidly, her eyes glazed. "Please, give me all that you are!"

 _'Alright, Go-kun was clearly off his rocker when he made you..._

Glancing at his staff, he frowned.

Focused. Felt the power within.

Harnessed it to the staff and-

"Let's see here. _. **.Lance of Ice!"**_

Esdeath merely batted the projectile aside.

"You should know better than to use ice-

Naruto's only response was a toothy grin.

 ** _"Falling Fireball!"_**

A massive ball of flame burst into existence over her head and dropped in the next instant, drawing a delighted cry from Yui and a wide grin from its intended target. Esdeath's rapier flashed upwards to meet the searing sphere, effortlessly bisecting the blazing oval in a single, flawless stroke. Bifurcated by the blow, the smoldering halves slammed into the arena floor at her feet in a cloud of black smoke. Almost immediately, enchanted seals caught the intense magics and caused them to gutter out almost immediately. It did nothing for the haze obscuring her vision, however.

It was into this fog that Naruto struck, slicing downward in a sharp vertical motion.

He never made it.

Instead of tasting flesh his staff found itself impeded by a wall of ice; a stray thought converted his staff to blade form once more, and the frozen barricade parted before it like butter. Her rapier was there to greet him for the merest of moments, the unexpected strength of his blow driving her back half a pace. Taking hold of her wrist, the blond swung her down into the ground, momentarily forcing the bluenette to give ground once more. This drew a snarl from her and her knee shot up, smashing into his nose to drive him away.

Now it was Naruto's turn to retreat, rubbing his face.

 _'Just now...I didn't feel anything. Why?'_

"Such strength!" Esdeath exulted, grinning as she brandished her blade. "As expected of my Darling!"

Blue-red eyes snapped towards her.

"Why thank _you!"_

That was all Esdeath heard before Death's Scorn descended again, the last word punctuated by a roaring wall of fire.

Naruto had to give her credit; because she retaliated almost immediately, diving out of the way and hurling a dozen skewers of ice towards him, burying the frigid splinters against his ribs. Again, there was no pain. He didn't even feel it. The light knock-back effect gave him pause, but still, he felt naught but the slightest twinge. One some level part of him became aware that he'd sustained some semblance of damage, of course, but the injury itself so minor that by the time he used _Life Essence_ to glance at his health, his _Regeneration_ had already restored it. There wasn't even a wound!

 _'Alright, either my Hit Points or insanely high, or she isn't trying to hurt me. Let's see if we can change that'_

Thrust a hand forward he called upon his dwindling MP once more, and was well rewarded for his efforts. A trio of scarlet circles sprang to life before him, the spell leaping to his lips even as he focused and narrowed it to a single, focused point. Around him, his mana took another significant dive as its master declared:

 _ **"Maximize Magic: Vermillion Nova!"**_

For the first time since their battle had begun, Esdeath cried out in genuine pain.

Engulfed in a column of fire, she staggered back a step, her hat disintegrating as she hurriedly cast it aside. Her ice magic flared not a beat later, extinguishing the roiling pillar of flame, leaving her slightly singed. Well. Perhaps he'd gone a bit overboard with that spell. Esdeath looked like she was actually _hurting_ now, favoring her right side

"Hehehehe!"

He wasn't expecting the laughter.

"Ah, my Darling!" she cackled in dark exultance, eyes wide with malevolent glee, "That really hurt!"

 _'Are you a masochist or a sadist, oi?!'_ Naruto blanched inwardly. Outwardly, he grinned.

"If you have a problem with it then make me stop, Esdeath!" he declared.

"Make you stop?" she balked. "I want you to hurt me _more!"_

"Then attack me with all that you have!"

It was **exactly** the right thing to say.

Blue eyes narrowed to hungry slits.

 _ **"Triplet Maximize Magic: Hail Pounce."**_

Naruto watched the azure aura stem from her body, restraining a frown.

"Now why does that sound ominooo _ooooooooh..._

His words trailed off as a towering shadow swam into existence overhead. The towering glacier-for nothing less could possibly describe its majesty-was a sight in-and-of itself, easily large enough to plug the arena three times over and crush everyone within. It seemed to remain stationary and airborne only through the sheer will of its mistress. Then it fell from on high, eclipsing every thought, blocking out all the stars in the night sky, and coming for them all. Despite himself, Naruto felt his jaw briefly come unhinged. That was overkill, wasn't it? Definitely overkill. It _had_ be overkill. The very _idea_ of a spell so ludicrously overpowered even existing in this world was enough to boggle the mind.

But it also made him wonder, just a little bit...

Then _he_ started casting.

 _"Greater Hardening."_ Naruto remarked quietly to himself, his body shimmering as the requested buff took effect. _"Greater strength_. _Penetrate up."_

 _'Wait. Why am I doing this? Let's try something else.'_

Slowly, painstakingly, he opened the fingers of his right hand, this time without channeling MP of any sort, reached for the wind. Could he perhaps use chakra in this world? To his initial disappointment and surprise, he immediately felt his Mana Points drain despite his deliberate effort not to use them, but on the same level the wind answered, gathering in the palm of his hand. Push. Pull. Rotation. Bent to his will like an eager servant to form a Rasengan. Not satisfied with this paltry achievement and keenly aware of the glacier bearing down on him, the Sage pushed the element still further, bade the air reply.

 _And the air answered._

A keening shriek rose around him all at once, filling his ears with the humming cry of billions of miniscule air blades. His penultimate technique chirped sharply as he focused on them anew. To his great delight, the spell compacted still further when he forced his will upon it, though restraining it as such quickly sapped his Mana to the point of oblivion. But it worked! Delighted he stepped back and assumed a pitcher's stance, arm cocked and ready to throw the snarling sphere into the rapidly falling berg.

A lone word snaked past his lips.

 _"Rasenshuriken."_

Then he launched it.

Esdeath must've realized his intent; because she snatched hastily summoned a dome of ice to protect herself. Yui simply raised a magic barrier of her own. Each had good reason for this; having sensed the sheer power of the rapidly ascending sphere, a sphere that had just made contact with the falling glacier and _oh dear-_

The resulting explosion was nothing short of cataclysmic.

And woefully short-lived.

Great chunks of ice imploded as countless microscopic blades went to work against them with single-minded resolve; tearing into the tundra at an insatiable pace. Within seconds the once formidable falling berg found itself rendered into so many harmless snowflakes beneath the vigorours attack. Soon not even those remained as the hungry needles of wind sought out, exterminating them with great prejudice. Esdeath's icy cocoon only fared marginally better, shattered and sundered in its last defiant act of defense, while Yui having distanced herself from the attack, hadn't sustained so much as a scratch.

Both were looking at him, utterly baffled.

Naruto stared at his hand as the last of the snow guttered out, frowning thoughtfully.

Any delight he might've felt was masked by the strange sensation emanating from his right arm.

This.

This was _confusing._

He most certainly hadn't been able to toss jutsu around in this game. Yet using magic just now, he'd managed to create an amalgamation of the Rasenshuriken. But it cost mana. As he thought, chakra was not so easily accessed in this world, if at all. Could it be that he'd have to rely on his own raw strength and MP to survive in this new realm? Or could he use Mana to recreate his lost skills. Hmm. Thoughts for latter, he supposed. If it was indeed possible, he would find a way.

Still, as tests went, so far, so good.

Spells and buffs seemed to function properly. He just had to think and focus, though they seemed to drain his MP more than expected.

But what about strength...?

He had to know.

"No more magic!" he instructed of Esdeath. "We'll be attacking physically from here on out!"

A manic gleam entered the woman's eyes as she scrambled upright.

"Please do!"

And he did.

His first swing barreled through Esdeath's guard with punitive ease, shattering the defense she feebly tried to form. The second drove her back onto her right foot. The third forced her to physically lock her saber against his staff to avoid falling, straining against him before the fourth. Fifth. Sixth. Seventh. _Eighth!_ With each successive strike, each ring of metal against metal, his bloodlust rose, the sheer thrill of the fight rising to swallow him like a great wave, an undertow dragging sense to the bottom and leaving only a coursing red tide in its place.

"Ora, ora, ORA!" he laughed! "What's wrong?!"

This body seemed as strong as he remembered, perhaps even more. How long had it been since he'd given himself to a battle? Since he'd thrown away thought and rationale for the sake of a good fight? It felt...freeing, glorious in its majesty, this elegant dance of death they weaved. A dance in which he slowly overpowered his opponent, beating her back with every successful swing of his sword. Was this him? His own will? Or perhaps some part of the body he now inhabited? He didn't know. Didn't care. In this instant he didn't care.

Catching her blade, he swung down!

"ESDEATH!"

She struck in the same instant, her rapier's edge colliding with the jet-black staff.

"NARUTO!"

Steel met steel and the world trembled.

 _THOOM!_

The resultant shockwave momentarily extinguished the torches in the arena, plunging the floor into darkness. By the time they sputtered back to life and illuminated the area, it was over. Yui blinked slowly, rubbing the soot out of her eyes and struggling to make sense of hat she was looking at.

Slowly, a wide smile dawned on her youthful face.

Esdeath lay pinned to the wall on her back, the edge of _Death's Scorn_ brushing her neck. Her own weapon reduced to little more than a shard in her grasp. She was still smiling somehow, despite her injuries. Despite his own raging battle fever, Naruto found himself matching the grin. Something deep within him remained overwhelmingly satisfied by her efforts here today; the red haze that once obscured his vision had receded at last, his thought his own once more.

And then she spoke.

"Have I satisfied you, Darling?"

His instinctive answer was _yes_ , but something in him pushed the word aside and ventured into the realm of grandiose.

"Throughout all these years, you have been dominated with an iron hand." He declared proudly, taking her by the shoulders with both hands, causing her blue eyes to widen. "When your back should have been broken you stood tall. Though the one who created you left you to rot, you still rose beyond him. To stand against me and cast such a mighty blow. I'll give you this...at this moment...you are strong!"

Her eyes watered.

"That's the greatest compliment you could give me...

 ** _"OI!"_**

Whatever response Naruto might have mustered was summarily drowned out by a loud shout.

Naruto arched an eyebrow.

"Hmm?"

Red-blue eyes swiveled in place and found themselves riveted by a familiar crop of purple hair. That, and the fishnet mesh the owner of said hair wore. Or maybe it was the trench coat? Hmm. Problematic. Well, even in another world, Anko was still Anko, he supposed. Eyes the color of poisoned honey glared bloody red daggers at Esdeath, snake-like slits narrowed intently on the battered woman. For a fleeting moment he struggled to remember why her eyes reminded him so much of Orochimaru's-ah, right. She'd absorbed the old snake bastard towards the end of the war when he'd tried to take her chakra. Good on her. Better the crazy woman you knew than the madman you didn't.

Of course, said woman was now bearing down on Esdeath with an aura of pure malice, so...

"What the hell are you doing with Naruto-sama?!"

 _'Again with the 'sama' oi?!'_

The bluenette smiled gracefully.

"Whatever he wants me to, bitch."

 _"Hah?!"_

"Oh, I'm sorry." Esdeath's laughter muffled itself behind her palm. "I thought I heard a dog whining for her master's attention, but it was just you."

Anko hissed fingers clenching into claws. "Why you sadistic little...! I'll poison you to death!"

"Not if I freeze you first." the Head Torture replied genially.

"I'll cut your heart out!"

"I invite you to try."

"That's enough, you two." a harsh voice interjected. "Can't you see your antics are upsetting the Supreme One?"

Grateful for the interruption, Naruto performed a sharp about-face, leaving the two women to bicker at his back.

"Oh, thank god. You have no idea how awkward that was getting, Sasuke!"

At the mention of his name the Uchiha shuffled forward.

As if he'd been frozen in time from the moment of their final parting, Sasuke Uchiha stared back at him, his visible eye, that of the Rinnegan staring calmly outward at him. Overwhelmed by emotion, Naruto nearly gave into his relief and clapped the man on the back, pausing only at the last instant when the Uchiha drew up short. Others were arriving now, but he paid them no mind. He was still trying to reconcile the fact that his good friend and rival was standing here before him...

"Yo," He settled for a teary grin at the sight of his old friend instead. "It really is good to see you again."

The man in question paused.

"Informal as ever, Naruto-sama."

Naruto croaked.

 _"Sama?"_

"Floor Guardians of Konoha!" Yui barked suddenly, causing him to start. "Bow before your lord and master!"

There were a fair number of them indeed.

Numbering nearly ten in all, as one, they dropped to a knee, and he found he recognized them at once.

"Guardian of Floors One and Two," Sasuke exhaled quietly. "Uchiha Sasuke. I bow before the Supreme One."

"Guardian of Floors Three and Four." Gaara exclaimed in his gravely voice, "Sabaku no Gaara. I bow before the Supreme One."

"Guardian of Floor Five." Mei purred, her green eyes locking with his. "I bow before the Supreme One."

"Guardian of the Sixth Floor," Anko Mitarashi grinned, momentarily breaking character, "I bow before the Supreme One."

"Guardian of the Seventh Floor and Head Torturer," Madara and Esdeath intoned. "We bow before the Supreme One."

"Guardian and Eighth floor," Killer Bee rumbled, "Need I say more?! I bow before the Supreme One fo' sho!"

"Guardian of the Ninth and of the Sanin," Jiraiya grinned cheekily. "I bow before the Supreme One."

"Captain of the Floor Guardians and your Daughter." Yui declared solemnly. "I bow before you, Papa."

"All Hail the Sage of Six Paths!" she declared!

"Banzai!"

As one, they lowered their heads.

"All hail the supreme one!"

"Banzai!"

Naruto blanched, mortified.

Why were they bowing?!

The very idea of it should've been foreign to him; yet, part of him actually enjoyed it. To his great disgust. Frantically, he waved his hands!

"HEY! Guys, c'mon! Don't bow!"

In the end, a swirl of leaves saved him from the faux pas.

 _'Oh, thank god. That was getting awkward.'_

"Naruto-sama." Neji declared somehow managing to kneel and bow all at once. "I have returned. I come bearing important news."

"Oh...ah, good! Neji!

"Report."

"Understood." the scout dropped to a knee before him, one fist pressed into the dirt. "I have discovered two items of interest," his old friend began humbly. "The first seems to be a village of some sort. The second is a large structure far to the southeast of us. Regrettably, I was attacked and forced to retreat before I could properly inspect it. I believe it is a tomb."

Naruto frowned.

"A...tomb?"

Neji nodded.

"Well, we'll keep it in mind."

If this new world did indeed have other denizens, he was in no hurry to provoke them. He'd asses his surroundings first, ascertain where the wilderness ended and civilization began. With that in mind, he ordered Neji to observe this "Carne" village and await further orders.

"There is one last thing I would like to ask." he intoned, yielding at last to his curiosity. "What am I to you all? First, Sasuke?"

"Our leader." Dark eyes met his unflinchingly. "The one who built this great village and strives to protect it. A goal to strive towards."

"Gaara?"

"One who always takes others into consideration before acting." the redehead intoned.

"Neji?"

Blank eyes regarded him. "A thoughtful liege who cares for his minions."

"Mei?"

Full lip quirked in a small smile. "The man who cast his existence aside to bring us back from the brink."

"Anko?"

"A merciful ruler who stayed with us to the very end."

"Esdeath?"

"The epitome of perfection. And the man I love!"

"Er...right. Madara?"

The ancient one seemed to consider that for a moment before he replied. "You are a man with an ideal who stands above all others, who strives to create peace. You cast all aside before you in your wake, as a Supreme Being should." Unbidden, he shoved his head deeper into the dirt. "I am humbled to serve you."

"Bee?"

"A thrivin' ruler who goes with the flow. Sage of the Sixth Paths, your strength ain't for show!"

Naruto nearly face palmed.

"Jiraiya?"

"The epitome of a gutsy hero."

Naruto colored a bit at that.

"Lastly, Yui?"

His daughter beamed him a beatific smile.

 _"Everything."_

A silence followed.

Naruto chuckled into the palm of his hand.

Then, surprising even himself, he began to laugh.

It was a deep, throaty sound; one that had no business issuing forth from a man's mouth. Yet it did all the same. His cackle caught the assembled guardians completely unawares, several of them starting violently as he doubled over, physically clutching at his stomach to prevent himself from coughing. Yes, yes, yes! He understood now! He'd been a fool to ever doubt himself in the beginning!

Simple.

It was all so simple!

"I see...I see! So that's how it is!"

Still chuckling, he spread his arms wide in benediction.

"Then, as Leader of Konoha, I command you...

Mismatching eyes gleamed brightly.

...GO OUT INTO THIS WORLD AND SPREAD MY NAME!"

 **A/N: Naruto and Ains meet next time, I promise! It just felt forced cramming their encounter in there at the end. Expect to see things from Ains's perspective as well, next time!**

 **Aaaaaaaaaand there we go! An ageless, immortal, or at the very least, ridiculously hard to kill, Uzumaki Naruto, in the Overlord Universe. Expect all sorts of hell to break loose in the most silly and inane of ways!** **I eagerly await your reviews and responses to both that fic, and this! Don't worry, some scenarios may prove quite different from the one in the show, but I want to dedicate a full chapter to each at the least, not to mention the INSANITY that will come about when Naruto inevitably encounters Ains himself. Look forward to it, ya know!**

 **So...in the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review, Would You Kindly? And of course, enjoy the preview! Hope it makes you smile. And Review! Or face the wrath of AINS! BAHAHAHA! I'm also switching things up here! Tis a short one, but it sets things up with a BANG!**

 **(Preview)**

 _Shaltear lifted her dress in a demure curtsy, bowing politely._

 _"Pleased to meet you, Lord Rikudo-sama."_

 _Naruto blinked._

 _Tilted his head._

 _"Lord?"_

 _"Of course." the vampiress replied, preening at the inquiry. "Any enemy worthy of Ains-sama's respect deserves to be called as such." Red eyes regarded him intently, burning like twin coals in the darkness of the night. "Truly, it was fortunate of me to encounter you here. Now I do not have to ask Ains-sama for his permission to seek you out and kill you. Even if you are a Supreme Being."_

 _The Leader of Konoha sighed._

 _"Kill me? Seriously? For wha-_

 _CLANG!_

 _His arm snapped up catching the lance._

 _"You are a threat to Ain's-sama's ambition." came Shaltear's reply, her petite mouth splitting in a wide grin as she struggled against him. "Even if he does not realize it, I cannot allow that to pass."_

 _Blue eyes burned gold._

 ** _...well, that's fucking adorable."_**

 _Shaltear blushed, and subsequently grimaced._ _"I'm afraid I'm going to have to trample you now. For his sake, of course."_

 _Naruto beamed._ _"I invite you to try."_

 **R &R! =D**


	3. Everybody Wants to Rule the World

**A/N: ALRIGHT! This fic is now in THIRD PLACE for the most reviewed Overlord fic on this site! Let's get it up to number one, guys! We can do it!**

 **HELLO CHAPS~! Miss me? VIVA LA REQUEST YEARS! Well, I've been gone awhile, but I'm back. Lets just say there were...issues with my health and such. But those are behind me! I fear not the flamers nor the flames that they bring, for I am back and I am here to STAY!**

 **Sooooo, time to answer your questions!**

 **Q: ESDEATH?! You brought in Esdeath?! I love it! Who else is here that we don't know about?!**

 **A: People.**

 **Q: Does Naruto have access to his chakra?**

 **A: In a sense, he does. His abilities are still there, but he needs to figure out how to use them again when most of his energy-consuming skills are slaved to his Mana Points, which he doesn't have all that much of. By comparison, Ains has a least DOUBLE the mana he does.**

 **Q: Just how strong is Naruto compared to Ains?**

 **A: Remember, these guys are both Level 100 with god-tier items and equipment. They're capable of using cash items, advanced strategy, and a plethora of skills we haven't even seen yet. Its not a matter of stats. For example, Naruto can best Ains in a contest of raw strength. Ains kicks his ass in terms of sheer mana and spellpower/spell defense. If they clash, it would be a long, protracted battle.**

 **Q: So can we assume Naruto's going to have a wee bit of battle lust in the future?**

 **A: His chosen class is a warrior mage hybrid, ergo, a sage. But in a sense, he's forgotten how to enjoy himself in a fight. Esdeath "flipped" that switch in him during their spar, if you will. Its more than a matter of just turning it off again, as his very character in the game was meant to be aggressive.**

 **Q: Why did Naruto balk when everyone bowed to him? As Hokage, didn't he deal with that? How old is he?**

 **A: Naruto balked at being referred to as a supreme one, something no one ever called him. Everyone's formality caught him off guard, but its something he'll get used to. In terms of appearance his avatar looks a bit younger than his hokage self. Not a teen by any means, but a young adult, I suppose you could say.**

 **Q: How are the force in Nazerick going to react to this?**

 **A: You're about to find out.**

 **NOW THEN!**

 **LET THE CRAZY TRIP CONTINUE!**

 **I'm so proud of Naruto and co. in this chapter. It figures they'd do something like this when innocents are threatened, no?**

 **A long forgotten character gets to shine in this chapter!**

 **Do try to keep up, my beloved fans =D**

 **AND BOY DOES IT GET BLOODY!**

 _"I AM AINS OOAL GOWN!"_

 _"I AM UZUMAKI NARUTO!"_

 _...STOP COPYING ME!"_

 _"HA?! YOU FIRST!"_

 _~Naruto and Ains!~_

 **Everybody Wants to Rule the World**

Neji detected the soldiers long before they were aware of his presence.

Having been assigned to observe Carne village by his lord and master, he had taken to his task with a singular determination that only a ninja could possess. Instead of resolving himself to merely observe the village, to watch from a distance as Naruto had commanded, he'd chosen to _exceed_ those orders. Go above and beyond. Thus, in lieu of simple surveillance, he elected to approach his targets directly. What seemed like a daunting task soon proved itself anything but, for the villagers did not see him as a threat. Even with his pale eyes and astoundingly long hair he was still human and thus, they did not deem him a threat.

It was a resounding success.

The people of Carne welcomed him with open arms and glad hearts, wholly without reservation.

...though his long hair earned him the envy of some women, inexplicably.

And so the Chief Scout dutifully spent three days among and them, doing his best to make himself useful, all the while quietly reporting back to his master, carefully deflecting any inquiries pertaining to his identity. If the villagers were at all aware of his duplicity they didn't seem to mind. One might have thought that strange but Neji knew better; these folk were honest and hardworking, utterly incapable of duplicity. A good sort to be sure. The village itself was a good place, he decided. This humble series of shacks and those who dwelt within worthy of protection.

One about to be ruined by these rampaging buffoons riding in on their steeds.

Of course, said buffoons had never anticipated a shinobi.

Said shinobi immediately sent a _Message_ to Konoha.

"Naruto-sama?"

The reply was immediate.

 _'Oh, Neji!'_ the distant crackle answered almost immediately. _'Was wondering when I'd hear from you. So? What's up?'_

"I could ask you the same thing, sire." Neji restrained a grimace. "Are those...explosions?"

 _'That'd be Yui. I promised I'd play with her today, so..._

"I see. You're not in Konoha, then."

 _'No, I'm somewhere north. Why?'_

Neji relayed the information.

 _'Alright. Withdraw for now. I'll be there in half an hour. If they're going to attack like you think, we'll crush 'em.'_

...I cannot agree to that."

 _'What? Don't be reckless. You're not built for front line fighting. Just be patient and I'll-_

"I intend to protect them. Even at the cost of my life. I will utilize my trump card if I must."

 _'DON'T YOU DARE-_

"Well, then." Straightening from his place at the well, the last Hyuuga cut off the message, flicked a few beads of sweat from his brow, and stood. "I suppose I should change."

Heedless of the startled squeak beside him, the man took hold of his roughspun tunic and gave it a harsh yank, shedding it and the rest of his humble clothing in favor of his high-tier equipment. A proud Leaf headband materialized on his forehead, taking the place of the plain-looking bandanna he'd been wearing mere moments before. Then the rest came rushing back at once, culminating in the end of Neji's humble-yet-nevertheless-faux existence as a traveling bard, and returning him to the somber, cherished role of a ninja once more.

He was almost sad to leave this role behind.

Still, needs must...

To the eyes of anyone from Konoha he supposed he now resembled a upper-rank Jounin, the sole exception being a weighty ebony gauntlet on his right arm. The apparatus sheathed the entire limb to the shoulder in sleek black metal, the joints flexing and stiffening as he made a fist with it. Rather ironic, given the gauntlet's name. _God's Fist._ Truly a masterwork. That he was able to equip the weapon so at a moment's notice was due in no small part to the fact that he'd been wearing them all along, simply disguising the superior equipment beneath layers of thick clothing and cloaking magic.

Then he turned his head to gaze upon the one who'd witnessed his change.

"Enri."

"H-Hai!" she stiffened beneath his cold stare, brown orbs wide.

Neji thought she would've made a fine student in the ninja arts, if a tad shy and gentle.

Now was not the time for either.

"Fetch your family and run to the forest. Tell everyone you meet to stay inside their homes." the once-distant clatter of hoofbeats was rising steadily now and he realized his warning might not make it in time for some of the villagers, but better late than never. "What are you waiting for?!" he admonished when she initially hesitated. "Go!" his voice hardened, assuming an air of command. "RUN!"

"Okay!"

Eyes glimmering, pony-tailed girl turned to scamper away and Neji forcibly willed himself not to hasten after her. No, he reminded himself, a thorn of duty pricking him and holding him back. His place-his duty-lay on a different path. The Emmot family had been kind to him, taking him in without a word of complaint during his time here. He had broke bread with them, shared stories with their children. He was...rather fond of them, actually. They reminded him of happier times. Of foggy memories.

Her family would be safe there.

Hopefully.

By now he didn't need his All-Seeing Eyes to notice the cloud of dust at the rider's backs, the arrogant way in which they held themselves. He bristled despite himself. A lesser man-one not experienced in the ways of war-else might've thought these knights had come to protect the village from monsters or, barring that, simply collect taxes. This was not the case. He could read the subtle lines of those bodies, recognize the manner in which they held themselves, see their drawn swords. The tiniest fault was laid bare before his vision.

Once again, Neji knew better than most.

These men had come to kill.

Naruto-sama's orders had been crystal clear on this matter. He was to observe. Nothing more. His life was of the utmost importance. Retreat if he met resistance. Even infiltrating the village was pushing the envelope to the point of blatant disrespect, but this...? Doubtlessly his liege would do something now that he'd been informed. Whether that action resulted in the village's salvation or its destruction remained to be seen.

However...!

...orders or not, he just couldn't stand aside and let this village be slaughtered.

As such, the disguised knights of the _Slane Theocracy_ were rather baffled when they found the village deserted but for one man. Said man waited patiently as they dismounted, his keen eyes taking each of them in with quiet surety. Only the staunchest resolve prevented their leader from simply leaping at him. Or perhaps it was dread? The way he looked at them...as if they were meat. Cattle, to be drawn and quartered and devoured, nothing more than wheat to the chaff. That was impossible of course. A mighty warrior he may well be, but he was but one. They were many.

What could he possibly do?

What indeed.

"Who the hell are you?" One of then, distinguishable from his faceless brethren only by the air of command in his voice, stepped forward to meet him.

Neji offered a grim smile.

"I am no one."

The scout straightened beneath their discerning gaze, pale eyes narrowing to calm lavender slits. His armored arm rose ponderously, its open palm placing itself between them and the village. Like a firm and immutable pillar he held this stance even as the leader approached. Unblinking. Unflinching.

"I'll say this once." he declared, raising his voice. "You won't lay a hand on the villagers."

...shit." one whispered. "How did he know?"

"I didn't until now."

"Damnit!"

"Though I am but a humble scout and pawn of my master, I do not possess superior combat strength," he began softly. "Nor do I boast exceptional endurance. Yet I can declare with utmost certainty that I am stronger than each and every one of you here. If you attack me one by one as you are now...

His hand curled into a claw.

...you will die."

"Why you arrogant little-

CRUNCH.

He got no further than that as Neji stepped forward and struck, driving two fingers into then _through_ his unprotected larynx. A spurt of blood heralded the man's end and scowling. Choking, gurgling on his own blood, he clutched at his neck in a vain attempt to stave off the his end. To no avail. A flourish of the ninja's hand declared the knight's end, ripping the taut digits free and leaving him to topple backwards, tumbling to the ground like a felled tree all the while pawing at the a coin-sized hole in his neck. His companions turned disbelieving

"H-How?!"

Neji exhaled calmly, uncaring of the blood dripping from his hand.

"I do not remember dying," he declared, raising that very hand towards the heavens, "Yet, Naruto-sama emphatically states that I have already perished once before in this meager existence of mine. Therefore," White flames licked at the edges of his shoulders, gradually stemming across his body, "In order to ensure that I never fall again," the gauntlet on his arm seemed to writhe before their very eyes, clamoring across his collarbone, no, now his shoulders, consuming his chest and neck in the strange, reflective metal. "To make certain that I should never cause his heart to wrench with sorrow, I will eliminate each of you with extreme prejudice...!

"W-W-What the hell is this?!"

"None of your concern." the pale-eyed ninja replied, bathed in pale white relief. "Come at me prepared to die!"

Remarkably, they did.

Neji calmly batted the first weapon aside as though it were no more than a harmless stick, leaving its owner helpless to the followup strike that smote him through the helmet and between the eyes. He caught the next, and subsequently drove that very same blade through the nearest knight's armored torso. By then the others were well and truly upon him and the Chief Scout found he had no ore time for thought. Only action. A mad dance followed, his arms a constant blur of motion as he struck caught, riposted and viciously carved the fear of god into their very souls.

 _"Eight Trigrams Air Palm."_

A wave of focused pressure shot forth from his palm, battering knights and horses aside, tossing them into the air with ease.

Still they came.

 _"Rotation."_

Those nearest to him soon learned the folly of close combat, the high-powered spin grinding them to raw chunks of meat in spite of their armor.

Still they came.

Still Neji fought.

Even then, it came as something of a surprise when he realized there were more than he'd initially surmised. Far more. Their numbers came at him relentlessly, knights willingly throwing themselves to their deaths for reasons he didn't understand. Some were even able to injure him, throwing their lives away, relying on sheer numbers to land blows that ordinarily would have been otherwise deflected. Something was wrong. He was certain he'd landed fatal blows, yet like puppets severed from their strings, still they came. To his great shame he proved unable to stop them all; some escaped him and ran to the forest, no doubt determined to hunt down the villagers. He barred as many as he could, but even then his mind raced; frantically using his skills, trying to push past them, yet finding them more and more determined.

Enri!

She had to be safe, she just had to be-

A distant shriek took that hope and shattered it on a stone wall of dread.

White eyes widened.

 _'Forgive me, Naruto-sama. I failed-_

 _ **"WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT FAILING?!"**_

In a roar of ice and fire, they came.

The air split and rippled behind him as the _Gate_ formed, a portal of writhing flame and shadow connecting this reality to another. And out of its depths stepped two figures. He recognized the slim form of Esdeath nearly at once, with her stark blue hair, as he did the two trembling figures locked tight in her arms. Wide-eyed and a touch pale, but alive. Enri! Nemu! Relief flooded him all at once and his legs went weak. But that weakness evaporated when he beheld the second figure stepping out of the writhing maelstrom of magic.

Yes, because there, beside her...!

Neji went rigid, and would've dropped to his knees had his injuries permitted it. Ice blue eyes flicked toward him and he immediately felt a cool wave of healing mana settle over him with gentle certainty. His wounds mended as he lay there, gasping softly, exhaustion little more than a painful recollection. Even then he daren't move. The sheer aura of _hate_ emanating from his liege prevented him doing so, despite the fact that the menacing miasma wasn't directed at him. No, that loathing was reserved for a very specific set of individuals. Eyes the color of blood and blue skies swept past him, falling upon the knights.

"So."

Funny how one word can render you speechless.

A single syllable carved through the silence that followed, all the remaining soldiers focusing on the one who had spoken. When that lone individual raised a hand it was not to strike, or even to offer a hand in mercy. He merely flexed his fingers, eliciting a harsh pop as knuckles cracked. That lone gesture conveyed more than words ever could.

"I hear you like cutting little girls."

Naruto Uzumaki, and Sage of the Forest, swept one hand through the air, casually tapping his staff against the ground.

 _"I take exception to that."_

* * *

 _(...Meanwhile, Within the Great Tomb of Nazarick...)_

* * *

Momonga was not pleased.

No, no, no, not at all!

T'was troublesome enough that he couldn't figure out how to work this Mirror of Remote Viewing, but the events of the last three days were still nagging at him. Like a stubborn series of thorns that seemed to prick and hold him back, so too did the niggling doubts. The idea of other players being trapped in this world should have been a pleasant one. It would mean he wasn't alone in this world. Ordinarily, he would have preferred it to be someone from Ains Ooal Gown, but he wouldn't be opposed to meeting someone from one of the more insular guilds as well.

He too was aware of the matter of the Great Forest.

There had even been two conflicts there already.

The first when an intruder neared the tomb, before Sebas subsequently drove him off. A scout.

Then a second incursion, far more forceful than the last.

Another act perpetrated by a lone individual.

If he recalled correctly, that territory had once belonged to a certain man. Someone who'd been with the game since the beginning. A man who, knowingly or not, had helped to cement his desire to stay in this world. A man he both respected and on some level, disliked. It was almost ironic, really. If that individual had indeed found himself transported to this new world, then he supposed he should address him by his proper title.

The Sage of the Great Forest.

Even in the early days of YGGDRASIL word spread quickly through the grapevine. Just about everyone knew of the Sage who'd single-handedly confronted and taken down a World Boss. By. Himself. A man of singular charm and great charisma, capable of making even the most hardened enemy an ally. A man who used his fame and riches to bring a massive following to his side, using them to annihilate one of the stronger dungeons and then carved out a great swath of the forest for himself afterward. A man fixated on all things ninja, who gave every spare hour to the game.

That scout had been designed as befitting _his_ style.

Did that indicate the presence of a player?

Perhaps it mere happenstance?

It certainly begged the question.

As did yesterdays incident...

* * *

 _(...Commence Flashback no Jutsu...!)_

* * *

 _THOOM!_

 _A deafening crash shook the Great Tomb of Nazarck to its very bones. Every level trembled as one, then once again as two figures collided anew. None dared to investigate the source of the noise if only for the furious roars emanating from within. Deep, primal sounds, the snarls of two beasts locked in deathly combat. Two ancient beings older than time itself, each determined to slay one another to the very best of their ability. To cut, ream, maim! Butcher, dismember, devour! No measure of mercy was given, no quarter requested nor given._

 _Another crash heralded the destruction of a wall, hurling a red blur through it._

 _Chasing after the falling figure, a pure white blur struck!_

 _"Purifying Lance!"_

 _"Oomph!"_

 _The twisted sound of warped metal rose over a grunt of pain as the heavenly projectile slammed into the intruder's chest, causing it to cave. And then, inexplicably, the rust-red armor reformed. Metal defied physics and gravity alike, snapping back into his proper shape with a harsh crunch. As his attacker looked on, the intruder picked themselves up off the floor, clucking softly in amusement._

 _"Wow." the armored figure laughed, shaking his dented helm from side to side. "I didn't expect to encounter resistance already. You're crazy strong, you know that?!"_

 _Shaltear Bloodfallen grimaced, her mouth forming a thin line of annoyance._

 _"I could say the same for your defense."_

 _Raising their gaze, t_ _hey found themselves face to face with a vampire of short stature, possessing the appearance of a buxom fourteen year old girl. She was a true beauty, with pale shiny skin, clad in a gorgeous dress, those burning, seductive red eyes seemed to tempt you to your very soul, and fine facial features. Her silver hair lay tied in a ponytail, allowing others full view of her face. And what a fine face it was-_

 _The blond blinked, realizing the egress of his thoughts._

 _'Ah, I see. Charm.'_

 _"You can stop staring now." she goaded. "Come, remove your helm. You are a Supreme Being, are you not? No one else could have survive such an attack."_

 _"I see. So I've been found out already? No point in wearing this, then."_

 _Flung aside, the dented piece of metal clattered to the ground harshly, skittering out of sight in the darkness of the tomb and the_ _vampiress found herself staring down a dark elf with mismatching blue red eyes. For a fleeting instant she thought she was staring at an older version of Aura or Mare, but for the eyes, whiskers and wild hair._ _Then she recognized him, and the weapon he carried; that eerie staff in his hand, its signature helix-like shape slotting into place deep within her oldest memories._

 _Shaltear lifted her dress in a demure curtsy, bowing politely._

 _"Pleased to finally meet you, Lord Rikudo-sama."_

 _Naruto blinked._

 _Tilted his head._

 _"Lord? I mean, wait a second! You know who I am?"_

 _"Of course." the vampiress replied, preening at the inquiry. "How could I not? Your guild was our enemy and my...victims described you at great length to me. Any enemy worthy of Ains-sama's respect deserves to be addressed as such." Red eyes regarded him intently, burning like twin coals in the darkness of the night. "Truly, it was fortunate of me to encounter you here. Now I do not have to ask Ains-sama for his permission to seek you out and kill you. Even if you are a Supreme Being."_

 _The Leader of Konoha sighed._

 _"Kill me? Seriously? What for? Because I poked my head-_

 _CLANG!_

 _His arm snapped up catching the lance at the last instant._

 _To his surprise this one was very solid, a creation forged from the darkest of metals. It seemed to sap his strength the longer he held it, the steady drain clashing violently with his Passive Regeneration. Still, he daren't let go of the weapon for fear of her firing another one of her Purifying Lances at him again. That damn skill really hurt! A few more of those would place his hit points dangerously into the orange, something he didn't want to risk with what little he knew of this madwoman._

 _"So?" Stalling, he forced a grin. "Are you going to answer me or not?"_

 _"You are a threat to Ain's-sama's ambition." came Shaltear's chipper reply, her petite mouth splitting in a wide grin as she struggled against him. "Even if he does not yet realize it, I cannot allow that to pass."_

 _Blue eyes burned gold._

 _ **...well, that's fucking adorable."**_

 _Shaltear blushed, and subsequently grimaced. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to trample you now. For his sake, of course."_

 _Naruto beamed._

 _"I invite you to try."_

 _"Oho? And what can-_

 _"Rasengan."_

 _Shaltear never saw his free hand snap forward, but she most certainly felt it as the spiraling sphere slammed into her stomach. Almost immediately it tore through her dress and into the flesh of her stomach. Shredding her impressive defenses as though they were made of paper, the sphere ripped the proud vampiress from her feet and hurled her through a wall. Even then it took nearly all the strength her current form possessed just to extricate herself from the snarling pressure against her stomach and negate it with a burst of-_

 _"Magic Destruction!"_

 _"Got you."_

 _The blond was there even as she swung her lance to cancel the spell, taking advantage of her brief immobility. His fist filled her vision with terrifying speed, armored knuckles swooping down on her startled visage in a single blink._

 _CRUNCH._

 _Shaltear found herself uttering a very unladylike shriek when those knuckles barreled into her face and launched her into the ceiling. A cloud of dust answered, the thick stone cracking before her passage. Trapping her. Wedging her very form against the mortar. Seething, she cast a smoldering glare down at the blond._

 _"How dare you make me utter such an ungraceful sound!"_

 _"Aw, did I hurt the widdle vampire's feelings?"_

 _A silence passed between them._

 _"Shaltear-chan, was it?" Naruto's voice catcalled after her as she struggled to extricate herself from this unexpected bind. "Why don't you try fighting me seriously? You're going to get hurt at this rate!"_

 _Red eyes burned in the haze._

 ** _"YOU!"_**

 _When the dust cleared, she straightened, ready for battle._

 _Shaltear stood tall and proud, clad in full body armor dyed in blood-like crimson color. Only the face had an excess, revealing a large hole in the helmet which was shaped like the head of a swan, with bird-like feathers protruding from either side. Wing-designed decorations hung from the chest and shoulders, and the lower half of the body was a vermillion dress. She took great pride in the way those mismatching eyes narrowed, thin slits regarding her intently as she swept her lanced through the haze of dust._

 _"As expected of a raid boss!_

 _Shaltear's only response was an incoherent snarl._

 _Two hands snapped up in the same instant._

 ** _"Maximize Magic: Blazing Fire Destruction!"_**

 ** _"Maximize Magic: Great Breakthrough!"_**

 _They both realized the others mistake too late._

 _Fire and wind don't mix well._

 _Not._

 _One._

 _Bit._

 _Magic and chakra collided in a writhing maelstrom of heat and wind, momentarily blinding the true vampiress. No, no, no! If I destroy this level I'll be scolded for sure! Enraged by the blond's perceived duplicity, she fired another fire spell against the wind, casting the blazing vortex out of the tomb itself before it could detonate and destroy the first level. The burning storm howled upward into the night sky, momentarily creating a second son before vanishing wildly over the horizon and streaking out of sight._

 _When Shaltear turned her gaze to where she thought here opponent would be, all she saw was a scorched circle._

 _"Che! He got away..._

* * *

 _(...End Flashback no Jutsu...!)_

* * *

Beyond that, nothing.

That someone was capable of fitting on equal grounds with Shaltear was a troubling notion indeed...

If it was indeed a player, perhaps they were simply investigating this new world as he was? And yet they were near Nazarick. Dangerously so. If one were to exit the great tomb and focus, you could see the titular ninja-held forest on the horizon. Would there be a fight over territory? Raids? As a precaution, he'd raised the security level for the last three days, but no attacks had come. Beyond that initial sighting and the brief encounter with Shaltear, there were no signs of enemy movement to be seen. Might it be a feint of some sort?

"Am I giving this too much thought...?" he wondered aloud.

"Is something wrong, Momonga-sama?"

The player sighed, turning his head.

Ah, Sebas.

"No, its nothing." he reassured the ever-vigilant butter. "Just lost in thought."

"As you say."

The elder lich scoffed and shifted behind the ebony desk, idly resting a hand against the skin of his forehead-nope, just bone. Another not-so-subtle reminder of his new existence as an undead. Oddly enough that didn't bother him as uch as he once had. In fact he felt quite at ease these days in regards to his new appearance. But where Nazarick's securty were concerned, his paranoia knew no bounds. Che! So stressful! This was not a manner befitting a ruler!

This wasn't right at all!

He was the last of _Ains Ooal Gown!_

Guildmaster, Overlord of the Great Tomb of Nazarick and the creator of Pandora's Actor. Regarded as the highest of the Almighty Forty-One Supreme Beings by the NPCs of Nazarick. All these titles and the powers that came with them were at his disposal, and yet, despite this, despite the strange calm that seemed to envelop him whenever he grew anxious.

 _'So why am i so uneasy now, oi?'_

Fumbling with the mirror, he finally found something.

Or rather, someone.

Several someones.

What he saw caused him to blink.

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

"What on earth...?"

"Sebas," he intoned deeply, capturing the man's attention. "The man you described, is that him?"

A bony finger indicated a prone figure in the reflective surface.

"Hmm?" the butler leaned forward, inspecting the mirror. "Yes, that would be him. The one with the long hair. The other two I do not recognize."

But Momonga did.

He knew one of them all too well.

Rising sharply, the Overlord summoned his staff.

"Tell Albedo to make preparations and accompany me at once."

* * *

 _(...Meanwhile on the Outskirts of Carne Village...)_

* * *

"ORAH!"

Naruto's arm shot out in an vicious display of impeccable power and precision, hardened knuckles thundering home into the knight's helmet. Sundered by the blow, the metal yielded to his fist with a dull crunch, a spurt of blood signalling the end of the head trapped within the crumpled iron. The body tottered drunkenly on its feet for all of three seconds before a pillar of ice cannoned into it from behind, launching the headless cadaver into his fellows and sending them sprawling. Scarce had they fallen than a rain of icicles pounced on them, skewering the helpless invaders everywhere but their vitals.

Almost as if someone were deliberately taking great pangs to keep them alive and in torment.

Given his companion's preference for the later, it wasn't that difficult to suss her out.

"Esdeath, was that really necessary?"

The ice-wielder flashed him a dainty smile entirely at odds with her bloodstained visage as she idly skewered another knight.

"Of course," she hummed. "I'm merely savoring the fruit of their despair."

Naruto sighed.

This one!

She!

Was!

Sadism!

Sadism incarnate!

This woman delighted in tormenting others on a mental and psychological level. Her logic? The strong survive and the weak die. If you don't like what I'm doing, make me stop. Of course, no one present could make her cease, save Naruto himself. Given the circumstances, he wasn't inclined to do so. No, wait, that was a lie. He wanted her to take it a step _further_ , to inflict the same terror upon these halfwits that they'd so cruelly sown back in the village. Yes, let her be a terror. Let her be death incarnate.

The enemy soldiers certainly thought so!

In this state she looked like something like a bloody angel, and the laughter didn't help any.

"Wonderful, wonderful, WONDERFUL!" her cries rose to a feverish pitch around him. "This is truly a wonderful day to be alive!"

In a sense he was almost glad to have her by his side; especially when the alternative was to leave her to her own devices back in Konoha. Here he could keep an eye on her. Here, he could prevent her from going on a rampage as she'd nearly done during their duel. Here he could get a better feel for her personality outside of a structured environment. And what he saw worried him. This woman...she was insane. If he didn't have her absolute loyalty and undying he might've deemed her a threat to be dealt with.

Honestly, he almost felt bad for her victims.

Almost.

He'd make an exception just this once.

These fuckers had tried to kill _kids._

That was something he loathed.

Judging that their terror had reached its peak, he clapped his hands.

Pearly white teeth flashed in the sunlight.

"Gentlemen!" His voice rose, veritably throbbing with persuasion and pitched to carry over the battlefield, causing Esdeath to pause. "Lend me your ears for a bit, will ya? I may be new to this world, but I'm fairly certain cutting down civilians in cold blood isn't something good guys do. So, in lieu of an exasperating conversation, please...

Mismatching eyes gleamed with fresh menace.

"Tell me why I should spare you."

Several shrank back.

Naruto smiled.

It was not a pleasant thing, that smile.

"So." the word was a hiss. "No answer?" he started forward, hefting his staff. "You think you can impudently attack little girls but you cringe when you face someone capable. And you have no excuse. Is that it?" A part of him was almost relieved to feel horrified anger; it meant that, at his core, he was still himself. It also fanned the flames of his wrath to a scorching fury. "Then I suppose I can sic Esdeath on you without reservation."

"Y-You wouldn't dare!" one squeaked.

Naruto tilted his head.

"Can't I?"

Red and blue eyes gleamed brightly.

"I needn't feel guilty about this, do I? Esdeath!"

"Not at all!"

"Then this is an absolute order." Naruto began slowly, raising a hand, "Leave one to report our doings here today." he lazily indicated a random knight amonst the rest, a slow smile spreading across his whiskered face as his prey stiffened in fear. "Make the rest suffer. Cut their limbs off! Leave them with open wounds! Eviscerate them! Emasculate them! Make them regret their foolishness to the last of their days!"

A euphoric expression dawned on her pale visage, sheer rapture carving itself into every feature.

Before the slaughter could begin, however, the air chose that moment to ripple and part behind them.

Whatever relief the knights might have experienced withered away when the saw what emerged from within.

"Oh, dear." a voice like twin boulders grating together seemed to split the very air itself. "It seems we're a bit late."

Naruto blinked.

Really, that was all he could think to do.

This undead, for the humanoid figure clearly wasn't human, bore the appearance of an Overlord, that is, an undead skeleton creature devoid of skin and flesh. It-he?-wore an elaborate, jet-black academic gown adorned with gold and violet edges. Ad ark red glow issued forth from empty eye sockets, and a dark halo-like object glimmered behind its head, seeming to shimmer when one looked directly at them. He had worked long and hard to eradicate his fear of ghosts and the like, but looking at this creature, he felt himself stiffen.

He was looking at death incarnate.

And his mouth betrayed him.

"Holy crap a skeleton?!"

Had Ainz Ooal Gown possessed eyelids, he would have blinked.

...what?"

Esdeath wasn't so hesitant.

"Another enemy!"

Naruto stiffened.

"Now wait a sec-

She never made it.

 **"HOW DARE YOU!"**

A woman in dark armor leapred out of the _Gate_ and intercepted her , wielding a towering bardiche as though it weighed no more than a feather. A single parry drew the bluenette's blade aside and then the ax's jarring riposte came crashing down, shattering her defenses and leaving her wide open for the strike to follow. Blood spurted across her vision, punctuated by a blinding red haze in her shoulder. Naruto snapped forward in the next instant, only to find his staff parried by the strange lich, his blow restrained with great effort.

"Tell your pawn to back off!"

"You first!" the skeleton replied, then seemed to reconsider. "Albedo! That's enough!"

Esdeath hitched a breath and staggered back, clutching at her injured limb.

"Just who are you?!"

The skeleton honestly seemed to consider that for a moment. In a flourish, he spun away from Naruto, soulless eyes gleaming.

"You may call me Mom-no!" his sudden declaration startled them, "You would do well to remember my name! I am...!"

"I AM AINS OOAL GOWN!"

"I AM UZUMAKI NARUTO!"

An awkward silence pervaded the clearing.

...STOP COPYING ME!" Ains snarled.

"HA?! YOU FIRST!"

"YOU!"

"Fine! Me first!" Naruto snarled. "Name's Naruto. Sage of the Great Forest." Grinning, he snapped off a salute. "Nice ta meetcha. Now, I'm in the middle of something, so would kindly fuck off?"

"Oh?" The elder lich regarded him impassively, red eyes gleaming in the waning light. "That's an impressive title, I take it. Won't you retreat? I have no desire to fight you." Truly he didn't. Inwardly however Momonga's mind was racing. His suspicion of other players being trapped in this new world had just been confirmed. The Sage of the Great Forest. He Who Walks the Six Paths. Shadow of Fire. An endless list of titles that stretched on. He knew that name, but little of the one behind it or the power he commanded beyond rumors.

This...boded poorly.

Leader to one of the foremost guilds in YGGDRASIL. An eternal recluse. Someone who never ventured out to the front-lines. Rumored to be in the upper eighties at the very least, possibly one hundred. His build _seemed_ that of a warrior, but the staff in his hand suggested otherwise. Then there was the matter of the woman beside him. She reeked of bloodlust and killing intent, leashed only by the blond's presence. He'd seen how she'd tried to attack just now before Albedo wounded her. A protracted battle here would destroy everything, village included. Still, perhaps there was some hope that they could avoid conflict...

The sage's next sentence took that hope and dashed it against the rocks.

"I'll have you pay for what your woman did to my subordinate."

"Maybe, but there are certain things I need to protect."

He gave his staff a spin.

"And my pride is one of them."

Ains sighed, shoulders stooping.

"I see. I apologize, then."

For the first time since their meeting, Naruto's face went blank.

Ains bowed deeply.

"I offer you my sincerest apologies on behalf of my subordinate."

"Ha?"

Naruto felt his jaw hang open in disbelief.

"J-Just like that?"

"As I said, I have no desire to fight you." the lich replied. "In fact, I came here because you made me curious. Would you be opposed to joining forces for the time being until this situation is resolved?"

...is there a particular reason why? No...wait a minute...

Naruto blinked, realizing what the lich intended.

"Oh, hell yes."

 **A/N: NIGUN OF THE SLANE THEOCRACY SHALL KNOW TERROR NEXT CHAPTER!** **Aaaaaaaaaand there we go! An ageless, immortal, or at the very least, ridiculously hard to kill, Uzumaki Naruto, in the Overlord Universe. Expect all sorts of hell to break loose in the most silly and inane of ways!** **I eagerly await your reviews and responses to both that fic, and this! Don't worry, some scenarios may prove quite different from the one in the show, but I want to dedicate a full chapter to each at the least, not to mention the INSANITY that will come about when Naruto inevitably encounters Ains himself. Look forward to it, ya know!**

 **So...in the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review, Would You Kindly? And of course, enjoy the preview! Hope it makes you smile. And Review! Or face the wrath of AINS! BAHAHAHA! I'm also switching things up here! Tis a mere two, but it sets things up with a BANG! AND I HOPE IT MAKES YA'LL GRIN!**

 **(Preview)**

 _Anko grinned._

 _A hand rose, absently splaying across his chest. Naruto stiffened._

 _"Oi, oi, oi! What's with that look!"_

 _The silence proved telling._

 _"NO JUMPING MY BONES!"_

* * *

 _The child blinked._

 _So did Naruto._

 _An ethereal beauty in every sense of the word, she seemed almost perfect. Truly a superior creature, framed in battered-looking rags that seemed entirely too large for her petite frame. Hair the color of the palest snow framed a cherubic face from which wide eyes stained a strange red-blue-but-not-quite-violet shone. The one flaw, if one could call it that, was the tiny fang peeking over her lower lip. Was she a vampire? He wondered about that but quietly filled that tidbit away as he knelt before the little girl, careful to seem as un-threatening as possible. Wouldn't do to spook her, after all._

 _"Hey there, chibi." he remarked quietly. "Are you lost? Where's your mommy?"_

 _Those eerie eyes regarded him for a moment._

 _A tiny finger rose._

 _Pointed._ _Past._ _Him._

 _"Mama."_

 _Shaltear's jaw clicked open._

 _"HA?!"_

 _"Oho!" Naruto cried! "She broke character! Didn't think that was-_

 _Then that finger swung towards him._

 _"Papa."_

 _"EH?!"_

 _ **"Oho?"** a deep, dark voice resonated behind him. **"I entertain you in my home and this is how you repay me? By sullying Shaltear?"** He didn't have to turn to know who it was._

 _Naruto blanched at Ains's menacing aura. It would've been funny, really, if he wasn't so confused. And terrified._

 _Did he mention terrified?_

 _As if on cue, the child pivoted on one heel and turned towards him. Ains paused, taken aback. Until she spoke._

 _"Grampa." she lisped._

 _The silence was deafening. And then:_

 ** _"SAAAAAGE~!"_**

 _"N-Now wait a sec! I don't understand what's going on! I swear, I never-_

 _A hand snapped up in the same instant._

 _ **"Triplet Maximize Magic: CALL GREATER THUNDER!"**_

 _"Ack!"_

 _And the world burned white._

 **R &R! =D**


	4. He Who Grants Life & He Who Grants Death

**A/N: SURPRISE!**

 **Weren't expecting an update from me now, were you?**

 **Well, you can thank my new system for that, even if I'm using an old computer.**

 **That's right,** **I've got an update schedule now, and my little break gave the manga more time to get ahead. Then again, I didn't PLAN on getting sick as I have, so that was unexpected.**

 **But I'm bakc!**

 **AND SO IS THIS FIC!**

 **ALRIGHT! This fic is now in SECOND PLACE for the most reviewed Overlord fic on this site! WE ONLY NEED SIX MORE REVIEWS TO BEAT IT! Let's get it up to number one, guys! We can do it!**

 **HELLO CHAPS~! Miss me? VIVA LA REQUEST YEARS! Well, I've been gone awhile, but I'm back. Lets just say there were...issues with my health and such. But those are behind me! I fear not the flamers nor the flames that they bring, for I am back and I am here to STAY!**

 **Sooooo, time to answer your questions!**

 **Q: Naruto and Shaltear have a KID?! Already?! How?!**

 **A: This chapter explains it. The method was suggested by a reviewer and is a tad...unconventional. She has a MASSIVE impact on the story however!**

 **Q: So are Naruto and Ains allies?**

 **A: I'd say frienemies at the moment. They've agreed to work together for the moment in regards to Carne village, but they don't trust each other.**

 **Q: Well, Nigun's gonna get his ass kicked from the get go, isn't he?**

 **A: Very much so, yes.**

 **Q: Just how serious is this story going to be? I'm all for humor mind you, but can we expect plot?**

 **A: PLENTY of plot. Its only more lighthearted at the moment because Naruto and Ains are finding their way in the world. It'll be a serious story, but at the same time, it'll have its moments of levity and silliness as well. Not to mention BRUTAL beatdowns on anyone fool enough to cross Naruto or Ains.**

 **Q: Are you going to go into the events of the manga?**

 **A: Into the manga and beyond! I enjoyed the anime a great deal, but I'm not about to let myself be limited by it. The manga seems FASCINATING and while I have yet to finish it, I'm quite eager to do so and see what is to come. I've been told the events of the Lizardmen arc are particularly interesting...**

 **Q: Can we anticipate Naruto conquering nations, here?**

 **A: Well, Naruto doesn't hold much interest in anything but his family and friends for the moment. If provoked he'll certainly rain hell down on the one responsible, but as for conquering just for the sake of it, well...he doesn't like that. This may or may not lead him into conflict with Ains.**

 **NOW THEN!**

 **LET THE CRAZY TRIP CONTINUE!**

 **AND A DISCLAIMER! I own no lines or references to TFS, or any other movies, manga and anything else! I am only responsible for the idea! Believe me, I WISH I owned Naruto and Overlord, but as I do not, I can only humbly write about them and hope that my ideas inspire others.**

 **Sooooo...onward!**

 **Do try to keep up, my beloved fans =D**

 _"You can grant life, or you can grant death. The choice is yours._

 _"Can't it be both?"_

 _...that's not how the world works."_

 _"Fuck the world. I have Ramen."_

 _~?_

 **He Who Grants Life/He Who Grants Death**

 _Journal Log Entry: #3_

 _I think I'm finally starting to get the hang of this leading bit, but I'm writing it all down to be sure._

 _The old, reclusive me would have just bulled past Carne Village and ignored them. Obviously, I didn't do that. With a bit of help from Ains-still not entirely sure if I can trust this guy-I managed to reassure everyone that everything was fine, and the danger was past. They didn't relax until we started asking for information in exchange. Fortunately, what little they did know proved far more than what we did. They seemed chuffed to see that Neji unharmed and in one piece. He's something of a hero in this village now. Perhaps I should let him visit again once his wounds heal...?_

 _Ah, but I digress._

 _Here, I'm jotting down the accumulated knowledge I've managed to glean thus far:_

 _Carne Village, as well as the Great Forest and the tomb I investigated are part of Re-Estize, which is adjacent to the great mountain range that runs north and south of something called the Baharuth Empire. Supposedly these countries are on bad terms with each other for some reason or another and often clash on the plains which border the two countries near the capital city of E-Rantel. That's the closest city, by my guess. So, then there's the Slane Theocracy, lying to the south of bouth countries._

 _That's a lot to memorize, ya know!_

 _Now, initially, the knights we drove off were believed to be from the Baharuth Empire, going by their crests, but Ains believes it was staged by the Slane Theocracy and, you know...I'm inclined to believe him. Striking at one country to stir up the other and start a war? This kind of backstabbing was pretty common in the shinobi hey-day. Makes me glad I bothered to capture one of the bastards. Naturally, I gave said bastard to Esdeath. Needless to say, she produced results._

 _Poor sod broke after only five minutes._

 _Turns out the Slane Theocracy has been very bad as of late._

 _Ains doesn't seem surprised by it, though._

 _He's bloody HARD to read._

 _So, right now we're trying to decide if we should continue our little alliance or go our separate ways. I'm under no illusion as to what might happen if we do; we'll likely end up going to war. Can't say I'd like that. At this point, I just want to keep my world safe. I don't want to lose anyone else, and fighting Nazerick would surely risk that._

 _On another note, I've gotten a few odd looks from the villagers._

 _Nemu and Enri in particular._

 _...I think the younger one's actually afraid of me._

 _Apparently Dark Elves aren't well known in this world._

 _I don't blame them; I probably look terrifying. At least Ains had the foresight to hide his true appearance. Still, the villagers are nothing if not gracious and they seem more than willing to_

 _I may not be able to save everyone, but I'll be damned if I don't try._

 _Why do I feel like I'm forgetting something...?_

* * *

 _(...An Undisclosed Location...)_

* * *

The sky sang.

A single roiling note coiled through the air as pure chakra and magic writhed and twisted within one another in a seething maelstrom of energy, seeking balance and finding none. This writhing nexus of twisting power coalesced, broke apart, and swirled together again, seeking balance and cohesion, but unable to find either. Although Naruto and Shaltear's final attacks had indeed vanished from their sight long ago, indeed, streaking far beyond the horizon itself, it had not dissipated. These twin energies thrust upon one another were far too powerful to simply fade into oblivion, too mighty to simply expire against one another.

It was here, leagues away from any form of civilization, that a once-in-a-lifteime miracle occurred.

Each combatant had thrown their all into their final assault, flung the entirety of their beings at one another in a desperate attempt to end their struggle. A true vampire and dark elf, each possessed of near-omnipotent power. Neither had given it any thought since their parting. Perhaps had they known what their foolishness would unleash about to birth, they would've been more careful in unleashing such primal forces. For magic is a strange thing, and it does not die quietly, sometimes not at all.

An ageless arc that defies logic, shatters the shackles of sense. Like chakra, it knows not the bounds of reality nor those of time, and does not trifle fools.

At length, something happened.

Something incredible.

A miracle.

Instead of consuming one another or dying in a blinding blaze of brilliance, the writhing energies finally gave up on their battle and chose the path of least resistance. They began to _merge._ Fuse. Unite. Become one. The seething storm of power inexplicably shot down through the clouds to crash through the trees, shrinking and diminished all the while before eventually coming to rest against the foliage below. Nestling into the tall grass with a quiet rush of air, the teeming membrane continued to contract, gradually assuming a new shape entirely.

Were one present, they would witness something spectacular.

In place of the writhing energies lay a new entity.

A little girl.

An ethereal beauty in every sense of the word, she seemed almost perfect to the unwitting eye. Truly a superior creature, her tiny frame sheathed in bits of leaf and twigs that somehow seemed entirely too little for her petite form. Hair the color of the palest snow framed a cherubic face from which half-lidded eyes stained a strange red-blue-but-not-quite-violet shone. The lone flaw-should one dare demean it as such-was the tiny fang peeking over her lower lip, a clear sign of what she was.

For a fleeting moment she lay there in her impromptu cocoon, sleepily stirring as though from slumber.

Pale eyes the color of violet skies turned upward, regarding the faint horizon in confusion. She knew not who or what she was, possessed by only the basest of memories. Flashes of sight and sound, a woman with red eyes and a pale countenance, a man with stark blue eyes and wild golden hair. An intrinsic bond linked her to them and she immediately felt drawn to them both. Her childlike mind didn't understand much beyond that, but it was enough and she immediately made her own rationalizations.

The red-eyed woman was Mama.

The blue-eyed elf, Papa.

Turning her head, she sniffed once, scenting the air for any sign of them.

For lack of anything better to do, she turned toward its source.

Then she started walking east.

* * *

 _(...Meanwhile...)_

* * *

Naruto felt his patience slipping.

With each passing hour that the sun dipped lower and lower in the sky so too did his temper rise. Soon it would be evening and still, the villagers showed no signs of leaving their post. The air was rich with the scent of upturned earth and freshly picked flowers, salty with tears. Quietly, he cursed his new body and the enhanced senses that came with it. Even here at a distance, he could perfectly hear their wails and lamentations, the sound of children sobbing and those of the loved ones mourning those they'd lost.

They still hadn't left the graves.

Of course it was their right to mourn; he just wished he didn't have to see it firsthand. To be reminded of his failure and the counterattack that would surely arrive. The idea of waiting for the enemy to come to them was beginning to prove tiresome, and he found his mind beginning to wander.

For all his efforts, people had died here, today.

He hadn't been fast enough, hadn't been strong enough.

Oddly enough, this thought didn't bother him as much as it should.

Was it a side effect of coming to this world? Were his emotions gradually diminishing?

No, that wasn't quite right.

Carefully considering his own feelings he found that they hadn't changed; rather, he still cared for Esdeath and all those in his kingdom in equal measure. It was when he considered the village of _Carne_ that his emotions grew more muddled. It wasn't that he particularly disliked the townsfolk-on the contrary. He pitied them their weakness. They didn't know how to defend themselves, so it was only right that they would look to them for guidance. But at some point between now and then, he had come to view them not as simple NPC's, but something he wanted to safeguard and protect.

 _As if they were cute little animals._

Disturbed by this thought, his mismatched gaze swept towards a nearby tree and the one standing beneath it.

Ains Ooal Gown.

The lich caught his gaze and inclined his head ever so slightly, the faceless facade of his mask reflecting nothing of the emotions within.

Once more, Naruto found himself struck with a faint sense on unease.

He'd agreed to work with him on a whim, but that didn't mean he trusted the lich-much less the armored woman with him. She hadn't spoken so much as a word since they'd entered the village proper. Worse, she and Esdeath kept shooting ugly looks at one another, silently itching to renew their battle. He wasn't sure he'd be able to stop them both if they chose to take up arms again. Too much blood had been shed for them to bury the hatchet without a fight; they stood over an abyss and he knew the slightest nudge would send them plummeting over the edge.

If the latter hadn't wandered off, he was almost certain they would have come to blows.

Still, Ains had been nothing if not courteous thus far, and Naruto found himself obliged to do the same. He'd even gone so far as to give Enri a pair of Goblin Horns to protect herself from further threats. And yet despite all his kindness Naruto couldn't help but wonder if he had some ulterior motive for being here. Arriving just as the village came under attack-his timing was uncanny to say the least. The possibility that he might actually be a player from YGGDRASIL wasn't something he could discount, but if he was up to something, what could it be?

Surely he couldn't be-

"Ah, darling!"

Drawn from his brooding by the sound of a familiar voice, Naruto raised his gaze and found himself quietly chuffed to see that Esdeath had finally returned from her short-lived absence. In fact, she seemed to be making a beeline for him across the town square, heedless of the strange looks her presence drew. Naruto nearly laughed, despite himself. Here was something-someone-he actually understood and knew how to deal with-none of these vague concepts about reality and the way this world worked. Cut and dry, simple and clean. In the short time that he'd come to know her he'd realized she could be exceptionally blunt. There was no need to try and mince words with this one.

That suited him just fine.

"Its been a few hours." he asked, pushing himself upright from his seiza sitting position. "Where did you go?"

The massive, frozen boar strung over her back was all the answer he needed.

"I was hunting for our dinner." she informed him with a merry grin, depositing her hard-won prize and a bushel of branches at his feet. "As you forbid me from cutting down that impudent whore for insulting you, I was forced to find...other outlets of stress relief." Her cutting gaze seemed to stray past him for a moment, alighting on Albedo's stoic form with hateful intensity. The armored woman returned the glower a thousand fold, a hand tightening around the haft of her ax and Naruto coughed quietly to hide a shudder.

 _'Stress relief, eh? Well, as long as you don't go on a rampage..._

Within short order they perched themselves upon a small log and had a fire of sorts going. Thus, they settled in to enjoy a short-lived meal. The meat itself proved exquisite once properly cooked, a pleasant distraction from the mournful goings-on of the village. It also gave him time to reflect on his next course of action. He didn't want to be wrapped up in any of this three-kingdom business, he just wanted to keep his precious home safe, and perhaps learn more about this new world in the process. Did that entail allying himself with others? The idea of endless politicking, trading and bartering with others, did not appeal to him.

"You're chewing on the bone, darling."

Realizing he'd since chewed all the meat from the boar's leg in his musings, the blond felt a wistful smile tug at his mouth. Abashed, he discarded the bone into the fire and watched it splinter and crack in the flame.

"The village _has_ food, ya know." he admonished lightly, shifting his legs closer to the fire. "You didn't have to do this."

Esdeath beamed, brushing a bit of food from his cheek.

"I wanted to. Besides, I enjoyed the hunt."

"Wait, but you left your weapon here _-oh."_ the realization hit as he beheld the blood on her hands. "You took that thing down barehanded? You're seriously scary sometimes, you know that?"

"Would you have me any other way?" the huntress flashed him a small smile as she tore off a fresh haunch of meat for herself.

"No," Naruto relented with a rueful chuckle, "I suppose not."

They ate in quiet contemplating for a time after that, the silence broken only by the crackling flame.

"How long are we to remain here?" Esdeath asked at length.

"Until someone comes, I suppose." Naruto shrugged halfheartedly. "I can't just leave this village alone after an attack like that."

"But surely there is no need to sully your hands-

A spark of anger kindled to life in Naruto's heart and he shot her an arch look.

"And if I want to sully them? Then what?"

Abruptly, those harsh orbs cooled.

...then I will follow your lead and shield your back from those who would harm you."

Her sudden deference humbled Naruto.

It was times such as these that reminded him just how unfalteringly loyal the denizens of the Great Forest were. Whether it was part of her inherent programming or not, Esdeath was _loyal_ to him. Even if she'd been no more than data and code until a few days ago, in this world, she was real. Breathtakingly, painfully real. Everyone in Konoha was. And he'd nearly bitten her head off for that very aspect. What kind of ruler was he when he snapped at those who only wanted to lend him their aid?

"I'm sorry." he apologized, dipping his head in remorse. "I didn't mean to be cross with you."

Esdeath gazed into the fire, her azure orbs tinged orange in the flickering flames.

"The strong live and the weak die." she said, after a moment's contemplation. "And yet you once told me its the _duty_ of the strong to protect the weak. I confess, I did not see the purpose in that. Why must we concern ourselves with those who will inevitably perish? I think I understand now." to his quiet consternation she scooted across the log towards him, taking his hand in her own, eyes alight with fierce fervor. "Everything in this world belongs to you. The land and the sky, even these puny villagers, all may only die at your discretion."

 _Well._

Naruto certainly hadn't meant _that_ , but it would be too troublesome to explain otherwise.

At any rate, his mind was decidedly elsewhere.

 _'The duty of the strong is to protect the weak.'_

The words made him stiffen.

"I said that?"

He hadn't uttered such drivel in years. Not since everything had gone to hell.

"You did." the bluenette confirmed quietly, her crystal eyes turning to meet him. "Granted, you were rather intoxicated at the time but I took your words into my heart and remembered them. Whether or not you choose to help these villagers or leave them to their despair, I will follow you. Regardless of whatever decision you make. After all...

"After all...?"

Inexplicably, Esdeath grinned.

 _"You're my darling."_

Naruto sighed.

"Seems so."

He realized what he'd unleashed a heartbeat later.

 _Oh shit._

A hand rose, absently caressing his cheek as she locked him in place with the other. Naruto stiffened anew. He knew he could break her grip with ease, but for reason he found himself unable to do so. Instead his body betrayed him and he remained rooted where he sat. It was only when he felt a strange chill in his legs that he realized she'd frozen his feet. That she'd been able to do so at all rather baffled him, and served as a stark reminder that for all her appearances, the icy goddess was more than capable of been subtle when she wanted to be.

"Darling," Esdeath purred, her voice veritably vibrating with lust, "You're not going to run away from me, are you?"

Naruto swallowed thickly.

"Oi, oi, oi?! What's with that look?"

The silence proved telling.

Her kiss was sudden and fierce, her mouth pressing roughly against his with cold desire, and nearly undid him right then and there. His hands twitched, longing to reach up and hold her. Mastering himself with an effort, the whiskered elf pulled away.

"Okay, that's enough. Esdeath, no." he warned, then repeated the warning, recognizing the glazed look in her eyes. "No. _No._ Now is not the time for this. There are _people_ here. Esdeath, don't you _dare!"_

"I'm sorry, I can't quite seem to hear you...

"NO JUMPING MY BONES!"

In the end, she scarcely managed to steal another kiss before he finally broke free of his icy shackles and bolted to his feet. Then, before she could try and snatch him away gain, he made a beeline for Ains and Albedo in the vain hope that Esdeath's dislike for the latter would cool the flames of her desire. As luck would have it, his plan worked out swimmingly for Esdeath made a noise of discontent and reluctantly trailed after him, pausing only to extinguish the fire, their half-eaten feast left forgotten in the ashes. In that aspect, he was lucky indeed.

Perhaps a little _too_ lucky.

"Treat them with kindness, Albedo." Ains was saying as they drew within earshot. "Acting is also important."

Naruto slowed.

 _What in the...?_

Drawing closer, he caught Ains's eye.

"Your subordinate seems a lively one." he remarked with an air of bemusement.

Esdeath's laughter rang out behind him, drawing a sigh from the blond.

"You have no idea. So, any word on-

It was then that he spied the lich cradling a familiar wand in the folds of his robe.

He recognized the item right away.

 _A Resurrection Wand._

An uncommonly valuable item even in the world of YGGDRASIL, it was capable of reviving anyone who had perished, albeit at a lower level. He himself had dozens of such wands stored in Konoha's vault. They were very useful for reviving the occasional minion and worked on all but the floor guardians themselves. He'd all but forgotten about the item until this very moment. That Ains had such a valuable tool out and at the ready made him wonder-perhaps even hope-at what the lich intended. If he was planning to use that...

"You're going to revive the fallen villagers?"

The undead was silent for the span of a single heartbeat.

...I am not." he declared flatly.

In another life, such a statement would've caused Uzumaki Naruto to fly into an indignant rage and spout a slew of gibberish.

Now, he merely arched an eyebrow.

That worried him.

"What? Why?"

"A magic caster who deals death, or one who brings life." the lich ruminated aloud, masked face inclining in thought. "Which is more likely to attract attention?"

The answer was obvious, even to Naruto.

Obviously, someone, anyone for that matter, who could revive the dead even in an admittedly limited capacity would be hounded to the ends of the earth. To be able to rule over life and death at a whim...such a power could easily restore one's family, cherished loved ones, or be used for less savory means. Whomever wielded such power would likely never know peace as long as they lived. There would always be someone longing to use, or even abuse such a gift. From an objective view, Ains reasoning made sense. But Naruto had never been one for reason.

"Just for that reason, we shouldn't...?"

By comparison, he didn't hesitate.

He simply didn't give a damn.

 _"Fuck that."_

He knew all too well the pain of losing someone, the aching loneliness that came from having ones loved ones wrested away without warning. The difference being that it hadn't been quick for him; instead he'd watched his precious people wither away to nothing over an eternity. He had time to adjust to that, no matter how much it might've warped him. Enri and Nemu...these girls hadn't had that opportunity. They'd lost their parents suddenly and without any time to say goodbye, just like so many others in the village. And for them to be denied that on something so meager as a whim...

Summoning a Wand of Resurrection from his inventory, he indicated the broke ground with a flourish of his wrist and began channeling mana until a faint blue glow arose within. After another thought, he added a minor teleportation spell atop it. Wouldn't do to bring them back to life only to have them suffocate underground now, would it?

"You may regret doing that." Ain's voice rose in quiet warning over his shoulder.

Naruto glowered back at the lich, refusing to be swayed from his course.

"Maybe, but its not my way to turn my back on innocents."

Arrowing towards the graves, he uttered:

 _"Revive!"_

With that declaration, he cast the die that would ultimately seal his fate.

It came as something of a shock to the entire village when their loved ones simply _appeared_ above their graves, hale and hearty, if a bit pale. Thanks to his relatively proximity, Naruto found he had a prime view of his handiwork A handful of seconds dragged by as husbands, wives, parents and children alike gawped at one another, unable to believe their eyes. _Five. Ten. Twenty._ Belatedly, it occurred to the Sage that he might want to step back before they came to their senses and all hell broke loose-

 _"Gah!"_

Needless to say chaos ensued.

He was only distantly aware of the wand dissolving in his palm; he soon had to fling that very hand up to keep himself from being mobbed. When all was said and done and he'd managed to wriggle free of the delighted thrown, he found Ains waiting for him. Somehow, he knew the sorcerer was smiling, even with that damnable mask of his. He just knew. His every word seemed to radiate quiet satisfaction.

"I did warn you." the lich reminded him.

"Ah...I'm tired. Acting is exhausting!"

Unfortunately, the day was far from over.

"Lord Ains," the village chief's voice rang out, "Lord Naruto!"

"Esdeath, kill me now." the blond groaned.

"I'm afraid I can't comply with that order."

 _"Traitor!"_

"W-Well, it would seems that some knight-like people are headed toward this village." here he trailed off, clearly longing to ask for their aid yet hesitant to dare after all the good they'd done. Naruto exchanged a terse look with the rest. Of course he had been looking forward to raining down hell on his enemies. But at the moment he wanted nothing more than to put the village behind him and simply call it a day. After all this surely that wasn't too much to ask for...?

"I understand." Thankfully, Ains swooped in before he could speak. "Please have the surviving villagers gather around your house. The village chief will come with us to the square."

In short order the five of them gathered in the square to await the coming storm.

Naruto found himself mildly confused to see that these men wore different armor than those who'd first attacked the village. More notably each rode atop a horse of their own and they barely numbered more than a dozen. Their leader was a great bear of a man in red and silver armor, his bearded visage the picture of stoic concern.

Reigning his horse to a halt before them, that slate grey gaze cut down at them.

"I am the Chief Royal Warrior of the Re-Estize Kingdom, Gazef Stronoff." he began by way of introduction, his voice deep, words firm. "I have received orders from the King to hunt down the knight of the empire that have been wreaking havoc in this area by visiting all the villages. You, there! You must be the chief of this village. Who are those standing beside you?"

The village chief flailed his arms, unprepared for such an inquiry.

"These are-

"Do not worry." Ains interjected, stepping forward abruptly. "Its a pleasure to meet you Royal Head Warrior. My name is Ains Ooal Gown. I am a magic caster who came to help this town while it was being attacked. The ones beside me are a pair of adventurers who also happened to be in the area as well and came to aid the village." His masked head shifted incrementally towards Naruto, as if to state: " _I hereby declare this hot potato to be firmly in YOUR court"_ and demurred with a simple gesture, stepping aside beneath Stronoff's scrutiny.

"Ah, I'm just a wandering sage." the blond demurred, "No one special...

"There's no need to be so humble!" the chief exulted. "This wonderful warrior came to aid us, and even brought the dead back to life!"

 _Urk._

Gazeff's gaze snapped back to Naruto.

"An extraordinary feat, if true."

The dark elf facepalmed.

 _'This is what I get for being a nice guy?! I'm never going to hear the end of this...what is he doing?!'_

To his disbelief, Gazeff had indeed dismounted from his horse.

As the eclectic group looked on he lowered his head and bowed humbly.

...then I thank you for saving this village, all of you! Mere words cannot fully express my gratitude."

Ains and Naruto exchanged a glance.

"Its nothing, really...

"Captain!" an exhausted soldier hastened up from the group before either could finish. "Unknown figures have been spotted around this area. It seems they've surrounded the village and are approaching as I speak!"

"What?!"

Esdeath beamed.

"So the prey finally shows themselves."

Naruto cracked his knuckles.

"Bring 'em on. We'll give them a welcoming they'll not soon forget."

 **A/N: There we go. I'm really sick at the time of this author's note, so I do apologize for not making this chapter longer. Its nothing serious mind you, just a really bad case of the flu which has me laid out and feeling like absolute crap. So I decided to divide this chapter into two respective parts. I also apologize for not including Nigun's asskicking in this. I felt it ought to be more devoted to Naruto and Ains respective viewpoints, and the potential conflict that may one day stem from it. Shoehorning a fight in at the end just felt...forced, ya know? I pride myself on doing my best when I write, even if I'm feeling sickly, and I did my best to get this out before the Mass Effect craze hits.**

 **NEXT CHAPTER COMES NIGUN AND THE SLANE THEOCRACY, AS WELL AS THAT BIT WITH SHALTEAR, SO I SWEAR ON MY HONOR AS A SWORDSMAN! Wait, that came out wrong...**

 **So...in the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review, Would You Kindly? And of course, enjoy the preview! Hope it makes you smile. And Review! Or face the wrath of AINS!**

 **The title of next chapter will be as follows:**

 **"The Ruler of Death and the Sage of Despair"**

 **I think we all know what's coming now, don't we?**

 **Its going to be a nice LOOOOOONG chapter filled with action, humor, and all the good bits!**

 **(Preview)**

 _Nigun backed away._

 _Slowly._

 _"Devil! Oni! Akuma! What aaaaaaaaaaare you?!"_

 _Naruto sighed._

 _"Look, Ains, I know we said he'd get a painless death and all, but...I'm not feeling very nice. Whaddya say we flip for it?"_

 **R &R! =D**


	5. The Blackest Heart

**A/N: Hey there!**

 **SURPRISE!**

 **Weren't expecting an update from me now, were you?**

 **Well here it is!**

 **Hearts and prayers go out to Florida and the islands! Those in Texas as well! They got absolutely hammered and donations are appreciated!** **Ironically, I was considering moving there before Hurricane Irma. Florida, that is.** **Makes me glad I didn't go there after all, jeez, it would have been bad.**

 **Also, the new light novel just came out, and I'm reading it over here! Good stuff!**

 **ALSO!**

 ** _WE_ ARE NUMBER ONE! THAT'S RIGHT! Thanks to all who reviewed-excluding a certain multiple account creating flamer whom we all know but shall not be name-for putting this story at the TOP of the NarutoxOverlord Fanfiction with a whopping 199 reviews! Give yourselves a pat on the back, each and every one of you! I'd be happy to listen to your story requests anytime!**

 **So it got me thinking, and back into character to write for this! Also, Team Daigurren did an EXCELLENT version of Overlord abridged which had me in fucking stitches! Be sure to watch it after you read this!**

 **And with that said, off we go!**

 **No massive author's note this time!**

 **Do try to keep up, my beloved fans =D**

 **Title's a touch ironic, given what happens here.**

 **And kudos to Team Daigurren for lighting a roaring fire in me!**

 **Any and all quotes from the abridged version belong to them! Not me!**

 **I'm merely using the words for entertainment purposes when they suit the situation.**

 _"Choose."_

 _"W-what?"_

 _"Your tongue or your hands. Now, choose."_

 _~?_

 **The Blackest Heart**

 _Journal Log Entry: #4_

 _Hello again dear journal of mine!_

 _Today, we're gonna switch things up a bit._

 _Its sure to make you laugh, you who may read this._

 _So in lieu of a common conversation, I have a question:_

 _Whaddya get when you stick an idiot between two almighty beings?_

 _Here's a little hint for ya._

 ** _PASTE._**

 _But first, I want to play a little game..._

* * *

 _(...Outskirts of Carne...)_

* * *

Something was amiss.

Nigun felt it as keenly as he would the loss of a limb; as dearly as one might a favorite blade. There was something _off_ about Carne village, though he knew not what. Unable to put his finger on it, he could only lead his men deeper into the ramshackle series of homesteads-all the while vigilantly maintaining his perimeter. Perhaps it had something to do with the suffocating silence hanging in the air like a shroud. The empty houses. Or maybe it was the strange chill lurking in the air, the complete and utter _lack_ of anything resembling life in said village. Or man they'd been sent to kill, for that matter.

They were to assassinate Gazef Stronoff of course; that was the whole reason for this farce to begin with.

Attacking villages disguised as an enemy nation at the behest of corrupt nobles, slaying their strongest warrior to bait the kingdoms into open war with one another...a brilliant ploy, really. For he would accomplish this task, this duty, or his name was not _Nigun Grid Luin_ **,** captain of the Sunlight Scripture of the Slane Theocracy! At least, that had been the plan.

Needless to say, events weren't transpiring as he'd anticipated.

By the Six, how were they going to accomplish their mission when they couldn't find a single, bloody villager! As if they'd gotten up and left in the middle of dinner! What nonsense was this?! They couldn't have fled; they would have been seen and run down by the angels long before they reached the forest. Yet they were clearly gone, spirited away to safety by some unknown means. Had they been lurking nearby one of his summons would have surely noticed by now.

Was it a trap?

"Captain, we've found someone!"

 _Finally!_

Heartened by his subordinate's words, Nigun blinked the ominous inkling away without a second thought and followed his underling into the town square. There he found a rather strange sight. Awaiting him within was not a man as he'd expected, nor their target, or even the village elder for that matter.

T'was an elf.

A _dark_ elf at that.

He wasn't even bound or gagged, indeed, his subordinates actually seemed _afraid_ to approach the demi-human and the strange cart he carried. Perhaps the latter had something to do with it. Crouched upon the battered frame of the wagon like some bloodthirsty beast, a tall woman with ice-blue hair leered down at them with an eerie smile. A half-bred? She certainly looked the part. He didn't like that look in her eyes. She was looking at them as though they were no more than dirt beneath her feet-no, he amended, not as if they were dirt, but _prey._

And his men were _afraid_ of her?

The very thought threatened to send Nigun into paroxysms of anger. His own men! Trained soldiers of the Scripture versed in the most sacred of holy arts, were frightened by a mere _elf and a woman?!_ Absurd! How could they, members of the Sunlight Scripture, be skittish of such trash?! Now that he drew closer to the elf. however, Nigun found the man's red eyes all too keen despite his humble hooded tunic, a fact which only further served to rouse his already inflamed suspicions. Dark elves seldom ventured far from their homeland; what business could one possibly have out here?

Nevertheless, he drew himself up to address the irritating creatures as was befitting a man of his rank.

"Who are you?" he demanded to know.

"Name's Naruto." the elf answered readily, revealing a confident voice that betrayed its owners less-than-humble origins. "This here's m'wife, Esdeath." he indicated the lethal-looking lady with a bob of his head, causing her to preen slightly. "As to the who, we aren't all that special. Just a pair of merchants passing through. What about you?" the blond inquired, tilting his head beneath the hood to expose spiky blond bangs, "What brings you boys here? Don't look like you're from these parts."

The scum lied, of course.

If this _elf_ was a merchant, he'd eat his own boots!

"I could ask you the same thing, filth."

"Hmm?" the elf frowned, hopping down from his cart with a nimble bound. "I told you; I'm a merchant. I like to travel."

Restraining his growing ire at the recalcitrant demi-human, Nigun

"What's in the cart?"

Naruto offered a small shrug.

"Odds and ends, nothing special."

"Then you wouldn't mind if we inspect it?"

"You don't believe me, is that it? I'm hurt. Really."

"Save me your platitudes. You there! Search him at once!"

The "merchant" demurred with a small shrug.

"As you wish."

A cursory inspection revealed the cart's contents to be little more than spun cloth and bundled iron, much to Nigun's consternation. Nor did the elf have possess incriminating evidence on him. A pity. He would've liked an excuse to wipe that smug smile of the man's face. No matter. There was still the matter of the woman and unnerving eyes aside, he doubted she'd be willing to defy him with their angels present. That would surely strike the smirk from that filthy elf's face. Perhaps he'd become more _talkative_ once they were finished with her.

"I'm afraid I'll have to ask your companion to come with us."

A slender brow arched inquisitively.

"Under what charges?"

"Suspicion of sedition against the Slane Theocracy." Nigun replied, smiling. An utter lie of course, but one meant to draw a reaction from the blond. In that sense, he succeeded.

It was not the reaction he expected.

"So you call yourselves the Slane Theocracy, then?" Naruto's head bobbed up and down in almost childlike delight. "Interesting! I'm afraid I've never heard of them. Would you mind telling me more? Is it a country? Where is it located?"

"Enough! She comes with us!"

"Oh, please try." the woman declared coolly, placing a hand on the pommel of her rapier. "I'm so _tired_ of all this talking."

"Esdeath." Naruto put in sternly. "Calm down."

Those azure orbs flashed dangerously.

...very well."

An icy sensation coursed down the back Nigun's neck and pooled in his stomach. Where had this sudden chill come from? He could feel the conversation slipping through his fingers and it galled him to no end. Why was he wasting his time with this one?! He had a mission to complete! And yet...! Again came that lingering feeling of dread and he furiously shrugged it off, refusing to admit defeat.

"Where are the villagers?"

"Oh, bugger it!" The man sighed, throwing up his arms. "This isn't fun anymore. They're out of your reach. We've seen to that."

"Aren't you a merchant?"

For a fleeting moment, the facade slipped.

Eyes the color of fire blazed out at him for but a moment, then dimmed.

Naruto looked at him for a moment longer and sighed deeply.

"Yes, yes I am!" he declared with a decidedly false smile. "In fact, I have a very special limited time offer for you and your so-called soldiers." Nigun barely heard him over the chattering of his own teeth. He could see his own breath now; visible as a cloud of steam in the frigid air. Cold. Why was it so cold?

"And w-what might that be?" he forced through shaking teeth.

That lightning grin of his again.

"If you apologize and leave right now, at this very moment, you can tell your children of this day. That sounds like a fair deal, doesn't it?"

Nigun bristled furiously.

"Fair?!"

Filthy non-human! How dare he! The gall! He ought to be put to the sword for such base impudence! Still, he might make a good slave. Slaves were a popular and expensive commodity in the Slane Theocracy, dark elves especially. The elves themselves were psychologically broken and their ears mutilated so as to know their place in society of course, but those who possessed skills and good looks were looking are worth a huge sum. Nearly the worth of a magical weapon. This one seemed handsome enough, if a bit willful. No, not worth being a slave then. He'd pay for his temerity here and now with his life!

 _'Know your place!'_

Nigun gestured with his chin and the nearest angels swept forwards, effortlessly cutting through the air.

There was no warning for the assault; merely the slightest blur.

At this, the bluenette finally stirred, but it wasn't to defend.

Impossibly her faint smile only deepened; for to Nigun's mild annoyance, the elf didn't cry out as the blade ran him through. Didn't even move, for that matter. His only admission was to turn with the blow, his feet shifting ever so slightly upon the well-beaten path. Ha! It seemed all his bluffs had been for nothing after...wait. A flicker of alarm passed through the men, shared by Nigun. Why hadn't he fallen? Why hadn't the angel pulled back by now? Surely they'd given orders. He was just about to tell his subordinate to do this very action when the angel inexplicably began to move.

Something was wrong.

In contrast to its earlier fluid grace, its movements now seemed stiff and unnatural by comparison. Forced, even. As Nigun looked on in quiet consternation he realized why; Naruto's face reappeared in the gap a heartbeat later. In one outstretched hand he gripped the unfortunate angel by the neck, heedless of the blade thrust through his chest. Impossible. Putting his mortal wound aside, surely a lowly _elf_ couldn't possess enough strength to stop an angel with one hand?! Yet there he stood, in open defiance of reality, crushing its throat.

Then the laughter reached his ears.

"Well, now. This is unexpected!" the elf tittered softly, wrenching the flailing creature away from him. "I don't feel anything. Nothing at all. Greater Physical Immunity, perhaps? Hmm," craning his hooded head aside, the blond regarded his intact body with a wondering look that soon turned to one of understanding. "I get it. That's good to know. I'll have to remember this."

Greater Physical Immunity? What was that?!

With this, Nigun's composure finally slipped its leash.

"What foul sorcery is that, you filthy demi-human?!" he shrieked.

"Filthy?" Naruto tilted his head, still cradling the hapless angel. "That's your final answer?"

"I beg your pardon?!"

The elf sighed anew.

"You know," he drawled roughly, straightening up to his full height, "I once read of a man who burned his enemies alive. Burn them all, I believe the phrase was. Burn them in their homes. Burn them in their beds. Me? I prefer ice. Revenge is a dish best served cold after all. I mean, humans are humans after all. Most of us are ugly, broken creatures. Despite my flaws, I like to believe I'm one of the good ones, even after everything I've done today. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, ya know?" laughing, he rambled on, giving his captive angel a vicious shake. "Try as I might, I like to be the nice guy. So, I wanted to be absolutely _certain_ you were just as scummy as I suspected you to be. You had your chance. Several, in fact."

"What nonsense!"

"Indulge my nonsense, then." the blond waved his frippery away with a dismissive flick of his free hand. "Or is that too much for your precious pride to bear? Nigun of the Slane Theocracy! You rape and kill innocents and take slaves of the rest. I'll be sure to burn your precious _country_ to the ground. I'll bring them a storm the likes of which they've never seen." he paused then, perhaps intending to let the weight of his words sink in, their poison in his blood. "And when they ask why, I want them to know this. It was because of you. Nigun, my boy...

When he next Naruto raised his gaze, Luin finally saw the hapless "elf" for what he truly was.

His filthy tunic burned away, replaced by crimson armor and fine robes.

The staff appeared then, burning black.

Only then did he realize his folly.

 _"I am so very disappointed."_

In that instant, several events occurred at once.

With a deafening roar that threatened to shake the very earth under, the blond raised his arm and slammed the angel to the dirt, obliterating its body into countless particles of light. It vanished at once, sword and all. In the next instant the "village" they stood in shattered like broken glass, leaving Nigun and his men standing upon they very field they'd forsaken some hours ago. The former reeled back, spying the true town as a speck in the distance, far to the south. Which meant...illusion magic?! When?! How?! None of this made any sense!

"Esdeath?" Naruto turned his back then, causing his companion and Nigun to stiffen for entirely different reasons. "They're yours. Leave one alive for questioning."

Looking back, it was _her_ smile that sealed everything.

 _"Gladly!"_

Some instinct compelled Nigun to leap backwards, desperately flinging himself away from the crazed blond and his mad mistress. In that aspect, he was fortunate. He survived where the rest did not. Even as he leaped to safety the ground turned to ice beneath his feet, freezing several men as they tried to flee; shattering them as they'd perished. At this, the rest finally recognized their peril and skittered away like drunken crabs, tripping over one another, forgetting themselves in a frantic attempt to escape the rapidly encroaching field of ice. In the chaos that followed, Nigun would always remember what came next.

The laughter.

It burst out of Esdeath in a demented giggle as she started forward, the tip of her rapier trailing a long line against the now-frozen field. Nigun saw his death in those cruel eyes and something in him quailed at it. Fear. It coiled like a cruel snake in the pit of his stomach, tying itself into endless knots. In that moment, he cared not a wit for the angels, or even his subordinates.

He just didn't want that blue terror near _him._

"Tell all the angels to attack!" he shouted orders! "Now!"

As one, more than forty angels swooped towards the unarmored woman. To his immediate dismay, said woman barked out a spell in a foreign language and a hail of icicles rendered them so much frozen dust in a matter of moments. Despite the brief casting time, Esdeath's pace never slowed; even as their disintegrating corpses crashed to the earth ahead of her, the smiling general continued her relentless stride forward with nary a care in the world. The sound of her footsteps thudded hard in Nigun's ears, pounding alongside his pulse.

"That's now...how did you...

"Is that all?" she purred. "Please tell me you can do better than that."

Despair set in, crushing hope.

"Impossible!"

"This can't be!"

"Holy Ray! Poison! Shockwave! Fire Rain! Confusion! Charge of Stalagmite! Open Wounds! Fire! Word of Curse! Blindness!"

Esdeath's saber rose ponderously to greet the spells, but instead of of striking their target as the casters intended they found themselves absorbed. Drained away to nothingness, as Naruto snapped into existence before her with an outstretched hand. A muscle jumped in Nigun's jaw at the sight. Again! How did he keep doing this?! Defying the impossible?! The elf's speed and strength were well beyond an annoyance now. In fact, they'd genuinely begun to to concern him. Too many questions, and no answers in sight. What kind of caster boasted that kind of strength _and_ absorbed magic?!

"Stop! You idiots! You're only making him stronger!"

Heedess of his orders and in full panic, the witless fools continued to feed the flame. Infuriated, Nigun rounded on the nearest caster and struck him full in the face.

"I said cease!"

This at last produced the reaction he desired.

Startled by the sudden brutality, his men lowered their arms and the storm of spells ceased.

Too late.

-was no reason to endanger yourself, darling." Esdeath could be heard saying as his ears ceased ringing. "I could have dispatched them easily."

"What can I say?" Naruto shrugged. "I didn't like the idea of them soiling your beauty."

"Flatterer."

"What can I say? I am! Now then...

Naruto surprised even himself by laughing; the resonating timbre that leaped out of him as he drank in the weak spells like so much water sounded more monster than man.

Burgeoned to new heights by the onslaught, his mana sang and he raised a hand.

"I'll return this to you!"

Here was something he'd forgotten about YGGDRASIL back when it was a mere game; for all its supposedly balanced gameplay, magic would always accomplish what physical strength could not. Indeed spells exceeded strength. They were powerful. Ridiculously, absurdly, overpowered. Throw enough skill points into your magic stats and you could annihilate armies. Naruto had never given thought to this before. The game had always been his garden, a paradise were he could revisit the past. Leveling up-and the many spells that came with it-was merely a means to achieve and then maintain that end.

But what was an end without purpose?

In his darker moments, he'd even contemplated suicide. His physical body was absurdly sturdy, but he was by no means immortal. He didn't doubt he would've found a way if he put his mind to it. Thrown himself from an incredible height? Leaped into a nuclear reactor? Cowardice had stayed his hand then, however, and it was because of that very cowardice that he'd lived to see this moment; that he came to an abrupt realization.

He was strong.

Horribly, woefully strong. So strong he'd never had chance to enjoy himself. Never had a reason to.

Until now.

Perhaps Nigun sensed this. Perhaps he realized what was about to happen.

Flailing, he turned his gaze to the sole angel remaining.

"P-Principality of Observation! Enga-

"Oh, please! _Rasenshuriken!"_

A deafening shriek eclipsed the rest of his command and the world burned white, throwing Nigun on his back.

 _'What just...I don't..._

When he came to his senses and scrambled upright, the last of his hope withered and died. He found himself staring at the mangled remains of what had once been a divine being, now smoldering away in a frozen crater. He hadn't even seen the spell that had slain the defensive type; reality's only admission remained the ringing in his ears. Senses came back to him, the screams of his men, the reality of the situation falling upon him in a painful pall of despair.

Sense slinked away.

Slowly.

Through legs that felt like lead he stumbled back, unable to believe what his eyes were telling him.

"Devil! Oni! Akuma! What aaaaaaaaaaare you?!"

Naruto sighed.

"Do you know how it feels to be overpowered?" the words emerged as growl as he prepared another spell. "To be so hopelessly outmatched-overwhelmed-that you can't even lift a finger against your opponent? That's how those villagers felt when you slaughtered them. They were helpless. That's how you're going to feel once I'm through with you." a hand rose, pointing at him imperiously. "So...go ahead. Cast your spells. Summon your oh so precious angels. Because no matter what you do in this situation, what you say, what you summon, what you use as a weapon, _we_ are going to kill you."

Nigun quailed.

 _"We?"_

A voice like the grave itself rose from behind him a heartbeat later.

 **"Grasp Heart."**

A sudden intense pressure manifested in Nigun's chest, as though a giant hand had suddenly reached inside of him and squeezed. He staggered, still clutching inside his coat for the sacred item with numb fingers. To no avail. His arm refused to respond; it was all he could do to turn his head. In his final moments, as the mangled organ that had once been his heart wheezed out another beat, he saw his killer. The sight of it nearly killed him outright; for The face of death stared back at him in all its skeletal glory, eyes like blazing coals judging him and finding him unworthy.

Then, as though dissatisfied by his inability to die swiftly, the elder lich raised a hand.

 **"Dragon Lightning!"**

Mercifully, Nigun no longer felt much of anything. As such, he was only distantly aware of fifth tier spell slamming into him, hurling him away. His end was abrupt and immediate; it never once occurred to him that he'd yet to use his trump card. That his subordinates were being butchered by an armored woman wielding a massive bardiche, cut like wheat from chaff. He saw all of this, yet beheld none of it, felt not a thing. It wasn't until that moment that he understood what was happening; it was then, as a skeletal a hand reached down and gripped the very essence that was his _soul_ that he realized his suffering had only just begun.

"Hey!" Naruto's distant voice groused as the last of life slipped away, "That was my prey! Hands off!"

 **"Apologies."** the lich rumbled. **"First come first serve. You can have that crystal."**

"Tch! Spoilsport! You weren't supposed to jump in yet!" the elf argued.

 **"I follow my own whims, not yours.** **Hmm. So this is a soul...?"**

Nigun whimpered, but his captors didn't react. The dawn broke then, in that horrid moment.

No, no, no! It couldn't end like this! Not this! He wanted to die! He wanted peace!

Nigun shrieked soundlessly, flailing to escape his prison; this fresh hell.

 _'No! NO! Release me! I command you! Let me go!'_

No one heard his screams.

 **A/N: There we go. I'm still horribly sick at the time of this author's note, so I do apologize for not making this chapter longer. Its nothing serious mind you, just a really bad case of the flu which has me laid out and feeling like absolute crap. But hey, at**

 **So I decided to divide this chapter into two respective parts. I also apologize for not including Nigun's asskicking in this. I felt it ought to be more devoted to Naruto and Ains respective viewpoints, and the potential conflict that may one day stem from it. Shoehorning a fight in at the end just felt...forced, ya know? I pride myself on doing my best when I write, even if I'm feeling sickly, and I did my best to get this out before the Mass Effect craze hits.**

 **NEXT CHAPTER BRINGS THE GOOD STUFF!**

 **So...in the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review, Would You Kindly? And of course, enjoy the preview! Hope it makes you smile. And Review! Or face the wrath of AINS!**

 **Its going to be a nice LOOOOOONG chapter filled with action, humor, and all the good bits!**

 **(Preview)**

 _"What do we have here?"_

 _Ains exhaled deeply._

 _"You're insufferable, you know that?"_

 _"Hey, I try."_

 **R &R! =D**


	6. Negotiating Chaos

**A/N: REVIEW FOR IT FEEDS THE ENGINE OF CREATION~!**

 **Ahem.**

 **So.**

 **WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME OVERLORD ACTUALLY GOT A SEASON 2, OI?!**

 **Here I am, twiddling my thumbs and then surprise surprise, what do I see in my recommendations?**

 **NINE EPISODES!**

 **I've just spent the last day catching up!**

 **I have a newfound respect for Sebas in particular. The Lizardmen...well, that goes without saying, does it not? Between this and No Game No Life-which I've only just got into, and one might say I'm outright hooked! I've got plenty of ideas stewing! More plots, brewing! The idea of Naruto and Ains interacting with one another is just too good to pass up.** **Of course, it also helps that Naruto has a fair amount of "allies" in this quest of his. Another of which rears their head in this chapter.**

 **I DID mention he's got a diverse cast under his wing, didn't I? If sodding ESDEATH of all people could be recreated be here, than I think SHE could easily exist as well. Adds for a touch of chaos and a bit of bloodshed.** **What? Want a hint? I really shouldn't, but ah, what the hell. I'll give you guys and girls one anyway. Of course, that might spoil things. Don't say I didn't warn you!**

 **"Hiiiiiiiiii~!"**

 **Yes.**

 **HER.**

 **Honestly, when the idea was presented to me-you know who you are-it was just too amusing to pass up...**

 **...though I almost pity the parties involved. Naruto included.**

 **So, in lieu of a long winded spiel, lets get the ball rolling!**

 **LET THE NEGOTIATIONS BEGIN~!**

 **And let the surprise be revealed at long last!**

 _"Yes! There is nothing in this world as wonderful as the unknown! Don't you agree?!"_

 _"Hardly. To offer one hope, then snatch it away._ _..that is the height of delight."_

 _"I prefer the carrot, myself. Better than the stick, most of the time."_

 _"Ho? You seem confident, there. What makes you say that?"_

 _"Gotta keep my army of misfits happy, ya know?"_

 _"Hmm. Fair enough, Sage."_

 _~A strange discussion._

 **Negotiating Chaos**

 _Journal Log Entry: #5_

 _This world is a fascinating place._

 _At first I thought it was merely the game of YGGDRASIL brought to life by some fell magic but no, there's more to it than that. I feel it in my bones. The people here live. They die. They laugh. They cry. To think otherwise, to assume that this world is still a game despite that notion, is the height of fallacy. Any creation here, of this world or not, lives. Thinks. Feels. Men, women, children, even the wild beasts of the Forest themselves possess some semblance of emotion._ _As easy as it would be to ignore them, I cannot._ _I_ _'m not that far gone yet._

 _Hopefully I never will be._

 _If I see someone in trouble, I'll help them. If someone fights an impossible battle, I'll do my best to make sure they beat the odds against them. If someone calls out I've already had my wish granted; because of that, I'm able to see nearly all of my friends and family once more...and a few others besides. Honestly, I don't know what to do with them. When I recreated "Konoha" it was meant to be haven for me. A piece of the past, brought back to life with painstaking work and effort. Then others got their hands on it, and well..._

 _...misfortune, to say the least._

 _My allies are legion now; ninja, Servants, knights, assassins, sorcerers, explosion-loving mages, cooks, kings and queens all. Beings created by minds long since forsaken, then cast aside. You name it and they're here. I've even got a knowledge-hungry flügel wandering around somewhere. What the hell is a_ _flügel, I ask you?!_ _See, this is what happens when you let your guild members have free reign. You fall behind the times. You're left scrambling to catch up. I kinda regret that now. What's the purpose in having all this, this army, these allies, this sheer might, if I don't do anything with it?_

 _I want to live here._

 _I want to make this world my home. My old life? That old world? Screw it. I have no intention of going back. I want to grow old-assuming this new body of mine actually can-and die here. If that way of thinking makes me a pariah again, so be it. I'm used to that. If it means ruling with an iron fist, so be it...though I'd rather not Am I a hero? Am I a villain? I don't know._ _At least I know I'm not alone in that dilemma. Perhaps that makes this easier. Perhaps it makes things more difficult. I don't know. But I do know his name._

 _Ainz Ooal Gown._

 _He's a Player. Just like me. He has to be. Who else could possess such powerful skills?_

 _As of this entry, the Great Forest is entering into negotiations with Nazarick._

 _When I say negotiating, I mean I've gone to the Great Tomb._

 _In person._

 _Now, I know what you're thinking, dear reader. This is foolish, no?_ _I don't think it is. If anything, it would be foolish to put this off any longer. Ains...hmm. How do I put this? We're going to be the best of friends, or bitter enemies. Best to have it out and be done with it. Besides, its not like I'm going alone. I've brought Esdeath and THAT one with me, and if push comes to shove, I'm certain we can fight our way out._ _I just hope I don't encounter that crazy vampire again._ _She might actually kill me if I let my guard down._

 _So, if you're reading this, I'm about to negotiate with death itself._

 _I'm walking right into the lion's den, without regrets._

 _As to what those negotiations will entail..._

 _Whether we'll be friend or foe..._

 _"I'm curious~!"_

 ** _OI!_**

* * *

 _(...Within the Great Tomb of Nazarick...)_

* * *

 _The Journal vanished from his hands with a soft rush of air._

With a long-suffering sigh, the Sage of the Great Forest turned to find the one responsible. He needn't look far. Hanging over his shoulder like a grim reaper, their arm extended with his stolen book in hand, they somehow projected an aura of absolute innocence despite being caught red-handed in their ill-chosen act of scribbling. A pair of sheepish amber eyes regarded him cheerily, their cross-shaped pupils widening in faux despair behind pale violet tresses. She tilted her head, causing the faint halo hanging above it to tilt askew.

"Is something the matter, Master?"

A muscle jumped in his jaw.

...oi."

Naruto wasn't fooled for even a moment. To believe that this...individual was innocent, would be to call the sky green and the earth blue. Some might call her an angel. Others, death itself. The few who saw her true face knew better. She was, in a word, a bibliomaniac. Completely and utterly hopeless. Any attempt to reform her was doomed to failure from the outset. Many words could be used to describe this strange being, more than a few of them crass. She was the sole being responsible for maintaining the hidden libraries of the Great Forest. A hoarder of books. Not one of his creations, but faithfully reproduced by a member of Konoha all the same, she was a maiden clad in scraps of white, her midriff exposed for all to see.

A seeker of knowledge.

An peerless killer.

An autodidact.

 _Murderer._

Presently, she was trying not to like she'd been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Under any other circumstance Naruto would've found her actions downright humorous...if she hadn't scrawled all over what he had written and subsequently snatched his journal away from him. Perhaps sensing his gaze upon her, she nimbly retracted her limb and retreated to hide both arms behind her back, as though she could somehow hide her prize away from his prying eyes. Rather than chastise the _flügel_ for her theft, he patiently extended an arm and crooked four fingers in her direction.

"Jibril. What have I told you about scribbling about in my journal without permission, hmm?"

As he spoke, snow-white wings drooped even further to match her ears. "To not to?"

 _"Hand it over."_

They drooped yet further.

Still, she conceded to his words.

"...very well. Yes, my master. Here."

Reluctantly, she returned the worn leather tome to its proper place in his hand. A flick of his fingers returned it to his inventory and sealed it there. Somewhere ahead of him, he heard a muffled noise from Ains that might have been laughter. The sound of Esdeath's grinding teeth also proved prevalent. Ah. He'd have to make this up to her latter. For now, Naruto wisely chose to ignore the foreboding sense of doom a this back and returned his attention to the recalcitrant being hanging behind him. Was it wrong that he felt just a touch of guilt for spoiling her fun? It wasn't as if they hand anything better to do, given the long trek ahead. A portal was absolutely out of the question; for all he knew Ainz could drop them in a nest of basilisks.

Which brought them to their present predicament.

A long, arduous slog towards the throne room.

Perhaps it was foolish of him to willingly depart for Nazarick under such a light guard. If he'd had it his way, he would've simply gone alone. Half the guild would've gone with him if he'd let them. He absolutely refused to allow Yui to enter a place like this. She might be wise for her age, but she was still very much a child and the horrors of Nazarick were not meant for children. No, he'd never bring his daughter here even if it cost him his second life. He'd sooner die than expose her to the twisted terrors that dwelt within this tomb.

Unfortunately, Esdeath was far beyond tolerating his slippery tactics today.

Konoha's resident Librarian had been most insistent as well...

Still, that left the undisclosed matter of his precious book.

"If you want one that badly I'll get you one, alright?"

"No, no, no! That's not it at all!" she lurched at him from behind and draped herself piggyback over the Sage like an eager child, nearly bowling him over with her enthusiasm. "You have so many secrets!" the angelic being cooed into his ear, "They're in that journal! And I don't know them! That's unforgivable!" her longs legs kicked petulantly at the air, knocking against his shin. "I need to know them all! Yes! There is nothing in this world as wonderful as the unknown! Don't you agree?!"

 _...you're soaking my shoulder."_

"Ah! My apologies." Hurriedly wiping the drool from her mouth, Jibril straightened against his back.

She made no effort to move beyond that.

"How long are you going to do this?"

"Aw, why not? This is comfy~!"

The Sage of the Great Forest took a moment to gaze into the darkness ahead and willed himself not to dash his skull against it.

"Of course its comfortable for you." Naruto sighed and palmed his face. With Esdeath and the others he had least held some modicum of control. He could tamp down their more destructive desires in that regard. Jibril was...unique in that he had little to no control over her temperament. Created by a long-since-lost member of _Konoha's_ once prominent guild, she was driven by the singular desire for knowledge above all else; with the latter interrupted by sporadic bursts of violence against those she felt had slighted her. If her power weren't so utterly eclipsed by his own, he might've been worried.

"I think that's quite enough, don't you?"

Ah, it seemed Esdeath had finally reached her limit.

"Ah, is the icy bitch getting jealous?" the flügel sneered, craning her neck. "Too bad! His back's all mine-KYAH!"

The icy general didn't raise a hand against Naruto-no, of course, she would never do such a thing-but Jibril was another matter entirely. A pale hand snaked down and plucked the heavenly being by the scruff of her neck in a devastating display of strength. Twisting her wrist, she flung from the blond's back and tossed her into a wall, never once breaking her stride by his side. Naruto pinched the brow of his nose, knowing full well what'd happened, rather, what was about to occur. Something like that would only stun the flügel, and not for very long-

 _"This means war~!"_

An outraged snarl informed him that Jibril had finally righted herself and done as she was wont to do. Naruto didn't need to see here to comprehend her expression; her words had already done that much for him. Yes, any moment now Esdeath was going to find herself on the receiving end of a decidedly mortal wound-

Rather, she would have, were it not for a wall of crimson.

 _ **"ENOUGH!"**_

A thread of killer intent wove its way into his words, stopping her assault cold just as she reached the bluenette.

Icy blue eyes blazed scarlet, pinning his two generals in place.

"We are _guests_ here and I expect the two of you to behave as such." his crimson gaze swept over both of them; holding them in thrall, putting them in their place before they could come to blows. "There'll be time enough for your squabbling once we've concluded our business here. Of course, you're free to kill anyone who attacks us." he paused, considering their rigid postures and how best to alleviate the fear he'd accidentally instilled in them. "I trust the two of you implicitly to keep me safe. My life is in your hands."

It was exactly the right thing to say.

Both women straightened.

"As you command."

"Happily~!"

Just as well; not a heartbeat later the icy timber of Ain's voice rang out ahead of them in the dark.

"Are you quite done? We've arrived."

The doors parted at the Overlord's touch, lending strong light in place of the faint braziers that had lit their way until this moment. A breeze rushed through the hall, snuffing out the flames. Not a bad effect. Perhaps he'd install something similar once he returned home. If he returned. The latter depended entirely on the outcome of the negotiations here. Naruto silently prayed for success in that regard. It wasn't that he feared Ains or his powers, rather he was cautious of them. If he had to put this feeling into words he'd call these feelings...dangerously curious.

Behind him, Jibril uttered a soft sigh.

The room that awaited them beyond was, well...

...grand didn't even begin to encompass its majesty.

Indeed, to even call it a room was the height of fallacy; this space was large enough to house a mansion. A grand expanse beyond compare, its beauty rivaled only by that of the Great Forest. Of course, Naruto was biased in that regard. He could never accept something to be the equal of the home he'd so lovingly crafted. But that didn't mean he couldn't admire its beauty. So. This must be the throne room, then. It looked as though a good deal of it had been remodeled recently at that; rather than a great empty space before the throne itself someone had erected an awning of sorts and thrust a grand table beneath it, complete with chairs.

"Please excuse the accommodations," the Overlord rumbled. "I'd asked for something a little more grand, but it appears they didn't have time to set up."

"No, that's fine." Naruto managed through clenched teeth, a muscle jumping in his jaw. "I'm ready to begin whenever you are."

If he noticed his irritation, the undead didn't show it.

"Good to hear."

Without another word, Ains claimed the foremost seat for himself at the head of said table.

All of this would've been well and good, had that been the end of it. Unfortunately, someone else occupied the southernmost chair. She had risen and bowed and Ains approach, yet her pale visage had not once turned in Naruto's direction. Indeed she appeared to be ignoring him outright, despite the pleasant smile adorning her cherubic features. As though sensing his gaze focused on her back, she tilted her head and turned to face him with that insufferable smile of hers. Slitted crimson eyes rose to meet him, like his own and yet entirely unlike them, regarding him with sardonic delight.

"Urk." Naruto managed eloquently.

 _This_ was the source of his flustered state.

Of all the individuals he'd expected to encounter here in the Great Tomb of Nazarick, this was the worst possible outcome. It wasn't fear that caused him to clench his teeth, but anger. This put the negotiations at a poor start indeed. If _she_ was here, that meant she was doubtlessly going to reveal his previous incursion to Nazarick. He'd hoped to reveal it on his own terms and apologize but this one, yes, _this one_ was undoubtedly going to make things difficult for him. After all he'd put her through he couldn't expect any less of her. Of course, he had no way of knowing that Ains already knew of his activities and thus anxiety and anger sank their searing fingers further into his mind.

Troublesome vampire.

He ought to erase her right here and now!

As he looked on, she rose for a second

"Greetings, Lord Rikudo-Sama." she beamed, sketching a genteel bow. "I'm pleased to see you survived our last encounter. Oh, and you brought company." her crimson eyes noted Jibril and Esdeath with a faint hint of scorn, unable to see the two for who they truly were. "Were you that terrified?"

Esdeath hissed softly, placing a hand on the pommel of her weapon.

"You dare-!"

"Its fine, Esdeath."

Naruto's teeth clenched down until he heard something crack in his jaw.

"Ahahaha," he forced a laugh, "Its good to see you again."

Imperceptibly, the vampire's smile widened just a bit.

"I _do_ hope you will entertain me a second time."

Just like that Naruto suddenly and abruptly reached his limit. He couldn't say what it was about Shalltear that irked him in that moment. Perhaps it was her face. Maybe it was the smile. That she'd so easily gotten under his skin, achieved the upper hand, or the fact that she _took great sodding delight in deliberately dismantling his plans._ Whatever the case, he found he couldn't contain himself any longer. Yes, it couldn't be helped. That temper of his was never something he'd truly mastered, and Shalltear knew just which buttons to press. However, let it not be said that he didn't have his own way of countering such diatribe.

...ha?" he growled in an unbelievably dark tone.

"Ara, have I upset you? I do apo-

Red eyes narrowed to slits.

"Pads." he quipped.

 _ **"YOU FILTH!"**_

CRUNCH.

Shalltear's hand knifed into his chest, only to find itself deflected by the impenetrable wall that was his armor. Naruto, for his part, took the strike in stride and retaliated with one of his own. As she looked on, his body seemed to warp and twist in on itself, sprouting extra limbs where there had been none, taking on a monstrous appearance. A clenched fist roared down at the vampire's exposed head and was narrowly blocked by her open palm. The sheer force behind his strike caused the limb to buckle and cratered the stone beneath their feet. Realizing her peril, the peerless vampire felt her beautiful visage pale as she struggled beneath the raw wrath of the being before. Ah, that's right. She'd nearly forgotten. This filth was a Supreme One. A being near-or-equal to that of Ains-sama. Which meant...

Perhaps she understood just how much he'd been holding back in the past.

Whatever the case, the _thing_ looming over her instilled a terror in her she'd never felt before.

 **"Now laughing now, are you?! Ya shitty vampire!"**

"Ah, that's right." Ains remarked, utterly unfazed by the potential life-or-death squabble taking place before him. "I remember, now. You fought him before, didn't you, Shalltear?"

"Yes, Ains-sama!" Shalltear's head snapped toward him. "He did such terrible, _terrible_ things to me!"

"Ho?" red eyes swiveled. "Is that so?"

Just like that, the tension drained right out of the room.

Naruto twitched slightly, releasing the vampire.

"Oi!"

 _'That's a misunderstanding, you damn vampire! Ya did that shit on purpose!'_

"Perhaps the rest of us should depart, for now?" Jibril proposed with serene tranquility.

Ains was in total agreement.

"Albedo." A skeletal hand gestured. "Shalltear. You may leave us."

"But, Ains-sama?!"

"To leave you unguarded...?!"

"Are you implying I would fall?" the elder lich regarded them with the emotionless pit of his face.

"O-Of course not! But-

 _"Then do as I say."_

In the end the floor guardians obeyed and diverted from his side down a side passage, but not before casting one last scathing glance over her shoulder at the trio. Naruto didn't blame her for her spite. He wouldn't trust a stranger in his home either; it was part of the reason he'd come to Nazarick in the first place. In part while he allowed Esdeath and Jibril to retreat to a respectable distance. He was already well aware of its location; while Ains didn't seem to be aware of the Great Forest. Even should something happen to him it would still be safe...for a time at least. If he fell here, they'd at least have some time to prepare...

"I apologize for Shalltear's behavior." Ains' rumbling voice cut through the reverie of his thoughts, "She's been in a foul mood as of late."

"Eh, that's probably my fault." the bond shrugged. "And I'm the one who should be apologizing. I scouted this place out before I was aware of things. She didn't take kindly to that."

"Are you certain you haven't sullied her?"

"Oi, oi, that shit's not funny."

He couldn't tell if the lich was joking or not; that stoic visage hid any and all visual cues. His deadpan tone left no room for guessing. For all he knew the undead might well be messing with him. Or not. Even his emotions were difficult to sense, as though they were being regulated somehow, by a force he didn't understand...

Sensing his scrutiny, Ains exhaled deeply.

"You're insufferable, you know that?"

"Hey, I try." the blond beamed.

"Now, then!"

Claiming his seat the table, the whiskered warrior steeped his fingers and leaned forward over the polished surface until his elbows rested against it. Ains made no move to mirror him, but he felt the full weight of the lich's regard settle upon him nonetheless. In that moment, he had his full, undivided attention. Any trace of levity between the two vanished in an instant. Not to say that they were on edge, rather, simply aware of the other. A facade had been dropped by both of them, and they saw the other for who they truly were. Whether this would lead to triumph of catastrophe...who knew? Only time would tell, and both were admittedly anxious to begin, at that. Better to settle things with words, rather than fists. Neither had the desire to risk their precious resources, after all...entertaining though such a brawl would be.

"Shall we begin, then?"

A soft sigh echoed.

...I suppose."

They hadn't dismissed their allies to be cruel; the act had been intentional on their part. Indeed, to subject their precious commanders to this would have been the height of cruelty itself for both parties involved. It was for their own good. A tainted, crimson aura stemmed from Naruto's shoulders and found its match in the murky jet black miasma exuded from Ains Ooal Gown. This was the pressure of two Supreme Beings, entities that defied the very laws of the world. Anyone else would have been suffocated by it. Even that of a high general or a floor guardian would've been hard-pressed to breathe, let alone exist in such a stifling atmosphere.

"First, we should establish where we stand with one another-

 _It was subsequently shattered by a nearby door slamming open with a rush of hot air._

Ains tilted his head.

"Shalltear? I told you to leave."

The vampire looked suitably chastened at that remark, but her pallid visage suggested otherwise.

"I'm sorry Ains-sama, I tried to stop her, but-

A pale blur registered in their peripherals.

"Stop her? Who are you-oh."

"Ara, and who is this?"

The child blinked.

So did Naruto.

An ethereal beauty in every sense of the word, she seemed almost perfect. Truly a superior creature, framed in battered-looking rags that seemed entirely too large for her petite frame. Hair the color of the palest snow framed a cherubic face from which wide eyes stained a strange red-blue-but-not-quite-violet shone. The one flaw, if one could call it that, was the tiny fang peeking over her lower lip. Was she a vampire? His couldn't be certain, indeed, he wondered about that but quietly filled that tidbit away as she turned her gaze upon him.

"She one of yours, Ains?"

"No," the contemplative tone told him all he needed to know. "I can say for certain that I've never seen her before."

"Which begs the question...

Exhaling softly, Naruto knelt before the little girl, careful to seem as unthreatening as possible. She tilted her head at him, regarding him with confusion and...a hint of awe? Even so, he remained cautious. Couldn't make any sudden movements now, could he?

Wouldn't do to spook her, after all.

"Hey there, chibi." he remarked quietly. "Are you lost? Where's your mommy?"

Those eerie eyes regarded him for a moment.

A tiny finger rose.

Pointed.

Past.

Him.

"Mama."

Shaltear's jaw clicked open.

"HA?!"

"Oho!" Naruto cried! "She broke character! Didn't think that was-

Then that finger swung towards him.

"Papa."

A pall fell over his very soul.

"EH?!"

 **"Oho?"** a deep, dark voice resonated behind him. **"I entertain you in my home and this is how you repay me? By sullying Shaltear?"**

He didn't have to turn to know who it was.

Naruto blanched at Ains's menacing aura. It would've been funny, really, if he wasn't so confused. Really, none of this made any sense. A child? Between him and Shalltear. How? He hadn't so much as _touched_ her in such a way, let alone done _that_ to her. His last memory of the furious vampire was their magic colliding, slamming against one another in a battle for supremacy. But...no. Surely such an event couldn't have produced a miracle like this, even in this brave new world. No. Of course not. That was impossible, right? Right? Hence the confusion.

And the terror.

Did he mention terrified?

As if on cue, the child pivoted on one heel and turned towards Ains.

The Overlord paused, taken aback.

Until she spoke.

"Grampa." she lisped.

The silence was deafening. And then:

 _And then._

 **"SAAAAAGE~!"**

"N-Now wait a sec! I don't understand what's going on! I swear, I never-

A hand snapped up in the same instant.

 **"Triplet Maximize Magic: CALL GREATER THUNDER!"**

"Ack!"

 _And the world burned white._

 **A/N: Decided to end things on a funny note.**

 **Also, names for Naruto and Shalltear's "daughter" would be nice, because I'm bloody stuck.**

 **So...in the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review, Would You Kindly? And of course, enjoy the preview! Hope it makes you smile. And Review! Or face the wrath of AINS!**

 **Its going to be a nice LOOOOOONG chapter filled with action, humor, and all the good bits!**

 **Remember that crystal Naruto swiped from Nigun?**

 ***grins***

 **(Preview)**

 _Yui squealed._

 _"I HAVE A LITTLE SISTER?!"  
_

 _The little one blinked._

 _"Ice cream?"_

* * *

 _"Oh, dear. A betrayal! How unexpected."_

 _"How can you be so nonchalant about this?! We're under attack!"_

* * *

 _"A tide of undead-_

 _"Not interested. NEXT!"_

 _"Well, there is the matter of the Lizardmen."_

 _"Ho? Sasuke sent a report on that, didn't he? Lemme see..._

* * *

 _The crystal stirred._

 _Gradually, a shape formed._

 _Small, faint, vaguely humanoid._

 _"Mortal. Why hast thou summoned me-EEK!"_

 _"Hiiiiiiii~!"_

 _She took one look at Jibril and nearly fainted outright._

* * *

 _"Are you sure this is a wise course of action?"_

 _Naruto shrugged, tugging the hood over his messy hair._

 _"I've never been known for making smart decisions, Madara."_

 _...while I won't argue that point, I still don't think its wise to send **her."**_

 _"You might have a point there. Say, you don't have anything better to do, right?"_

 _"My schedule happens to be open at the moment, yes. Why? What are you planning?"_

 _Adjusting his shoddy-looking armor for the sake of appearances, Naruto turned to face him._

 _"These Eight Fingers._ _..wanna help me crush 'em?"_

 _A crazed grin blossomed on that pale face._

 _"I thought you'd never ask."_

 **R &R! =D**


	7. Light and Dark (Interlude)

**A/N: REVIEW FOR IT FEEDS THE ENGINE OF CREATION~!**

 **So, the troll is back**

 **Troll is back!**

 **Their name is, and I quote:**

 **RyanDuffGetsAIDS.**

 **...yeah, that.**

 **At this point, I think its a girl that's been threatening me/telling me to kill myself. I've been getting some pretty nasty mysoginistic threats. Don't believe me? Look at anything I've updated recently. They've plastered it with their vitriol. As ever, I appreciate your support dear readers and thanks for sticking with me through this. Don't worry, I won't be quitting; all your reviews and PM's help me get through the day and for that, once again, thank you.**

 **Now, then...**

 **...WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME OVERLORD ACTUALLY GOT A SEASON THREE, OI?!** **Here I am, twiddling my thumbs and then surprise surprise, what do I see in my recommendations?** **NEW EPISODES!** **I've just spent the last day catching up!** **Sooooooooooooo many plans!**

 **Also...damnit, Arche!**

 **And holy shit on a stick those invaders (SPOILERS) got massacred.**

 **Now, for those who fear the idea of other characters from different franchises getting involved in this, don't worry. Beyond Esdeath and Jibril we won't be seeing many. After all, the last thing I want is for this fic to go too far off the rails...**

 **...oh who am I kidding?!**

 **Its going to be mad enough with just the two of them, I honestly don't think this story could handle any more!**

 **So, in lieu of a long winded spiel, lets get the ball rolling once again.**

 **No journal entry this time; just a bit of a refresher for fun.**

 **'Tis but an interlude, a primer of what is to come.**

 **I REGRET NOTHING~!**

 _"Ah. I understand now. There's a fundamental difference in the way we think. I can respect that."_

 _"And what difference might that be?"_

 _"Let me present you with a likely scenario; if intruders were to infiltrate your home, you'd likely kill them as a matter of principle, would you not? Yes, you would. You'd slaughter them to a man. Why? Because you'd consider that a mercy. I, on the other hand, would give them a choice. Call it the whim of someone who's lived entirely too long, but I believe in second chances. Let us say someone, or several someones, were to assault my home in the Great Forest. I would give each of them one chance; one opportunity, to lay down their weapons and swear their allegiance to me."_

 _"Isn't that a bit foolish of you, Sage? Some might even call such a mindset woefully naive."_

 _...of course, if each of them refused my most generous offer, they'd have to die."_

 _"I may not agree with you there, but I can understand your decision."_

 _"Well said! What do you say, then? Do we have an accord...?"_

 _~A very very crazy, very strange discussion._

 **Light and Dark (Interlude)**

"Ara, and who is this?"

The child blinked.

As did Naruto.

An ethereal beauty in every sense of the word, she seemed almost perfect. Truly a superior creature, framed in battered-looking rags that seemed entirely too large for her petite frame. Hair the color of the palest snow framed a cherubic face from which wide eyes stained a strange red-blue-but-not-quite-violet shone. The one flaw, if one could call it that, was the tiny fang peeking over her lower lip. Was she a vampire? His couldn't be certain, indeed, he wondered about that but quietly filled that tidbit away as she turned her gaze upon him.

"She one of yours, Ains?"

"No," the contemplative tone told him all he needed to know. "I can say for certain that I've never seen her before."

"How odd." Shaltear hummed. "She seems almost familiar...

"Which begs the question...

Exhaling softly, Naruto knelt before the little girl, careful to seem as un-threatening as possible. She tilted her head at him, regarding him with confusion and...a hint of awe? Even so, he remained cautious. Couldn't make any sudden movements now, could he?

Wouldn't do to spook her, after all.

"Hey there, chibi." he remarked quietly, careful not to frighten her. "Are you lost? Where's your mommy?"

Those eerie eyes regarded him for a moment.

A tiny finger rose.

Pointed.

Past.

Him.

"Mama."

Shaltear's jaw clicked open.

"HA?!"

"Oho!" Naruto cried! "She broke character! Didn't think that was-

Then that finger swung towards him.

"Papa."

A dark pall fell over his very soul.

"Eh? You're joking right? There's no way I'd ever-

 _"Papa."_ the little one repeated firmly, her gaze never wavering from his own.

"EH?!"

 **"Oho?"** a deep, menacing voice resonated behind him. **"I entertain you in my home and this is how you repay me? By sullying Shaltear?"**

He didn't have to turn to know he'd erred.

Naruto blanched at Ains's menacing aura. It would've been funny, really, if he wasn't so confused. Really, none of this made any sense. A child? Between him and Shalltear. How? He hadn't so much as _touched_ her in such a way, let alone done _that_ to her. His last memory of the furious vampire was their magic colliding, slamming against one another in a battle for supremacy. But...no. Surely such an event couldn't have produced a miracle like this, even in this brave new world. No. Of course not. That was impossible, right? Right? Hence the confusion.

And the terror.

Did he mention terrified?

As if on cue, the child pivoted on one heel and turned towards Ains.

The Overlord paused, momentarily taken aback by the frightful intensity of her gaze.

Had he been in full possession of his faculties, Naruto would've taken the opportunity to bolt right then and there. As it stood he found himself juxtaposed; wanting nothing more than to gather up his allies and flee, yet helpless but to watch the eerie drama unfolding before him. Somehow, he knew what she was going to say next. Time unfolded like a spool of yarn as she swung around and leveled a pale finger at Ains.

"Grampa." she lisped.

The lich's jaw clicked open softly.

Shaltear made a soft, squelching sound.

The silence that followed proved nothing short of deafening. And then:

 _And then._

 **"SAAAAAGE~!"**

"N-Now wait a sec! I don't understand what's going on! I swear by my ancestors, I never-

A skeletal hand snapped up in the same instant, fingers splayed wide.

 **"Triplet Maximize Magic: CALL GREATER THUNDER!"**

 _"Wait, wait, wait!"_

If not for Naruto's reactive armor, Ains's spell might've inflicted debilitating damage upon the unprepared blond. As it stood, the latter's health suffered a rather substantial hit; he felt rather than saw his flesh cook beneath the hardened helm even as his back slammed against the nearest wall. Snapping the faceplate back, the blond bolted upright and upended the table between them, using it as an impromptu shield against the next flurry of bolts that came howling his way. By comparison these didn't so much stagger him as they did sting; now that he'd managed to muster some sort of defense he could trust in his armor to hold.

His surroundings, however...

...not so much.

"Oh, dear. A betrayal!" Esdeath's delighted whispered rang in his ear despite his previous order to stand down. How unexpected."

"How can you be so nonchalant about this?! No, nevermind! Don't do anything! No attacking!"

"But where's the fun in that?" Jibril whined.

"Will you just both stop?!" Aghast, he flung up his arm in a vain attempt to ward off yet another slew of spells. "Oi, Ains! I can explain! Er...I think...

As quickly as it had come, so too did the storm of spells subside. He almost wished it hadn't; for when he finally dared to peer over the edge of his battered shelter, death awaited him beyond. Mana rose from him like a broken sieve to send the lich's robes fluttering in that unseen breeze, a hellish black-and-blue bruised glow that reminded the whiskered warrior of a gaping pit, a bottomless plunge with no end in sight. Ains was all coiled muscle-despite the distinct lack thereof-his eyes twin pits of hellish flame, ready to swallow him whole.

"Oho?" the word emerged as little more than a raspy hiss. "Do tell."

"Can you put the aura of despair away first? Its annoying."

...you're made of sterner stuff, I'll give you that."

For a fleeting moment the Sage honestly considered simply bugging out and leaving the elder lich to his own devices. Surely an alliance wasn't worth losing his life. Yet a thorn of pride pricked his heart and held him back. Not only did his spirit rankle at the idea of being framed for a _crime he didn't commit_ but he genuinely wanted to _understand_ the foreign being before him. In this moment, he felt more alive than he had in centuries. Beyond his own life, he genuinely had nothing to lose and everything to gain. Besides, if Ains truly was another player as he suspected...then he felt a bit of kinship with him. He might be cold at times, but he too, was one who'd stayed with YGGRDASIL until the very end. One who hadn't been willing to let this world go to waste.

"Look, if we just cool our heads and think rationally, the answer is obvious." he paused, waiting for the weight of his words to sink in. "Neither of us is to blame for...

He gestured expansively at the still-silent child now nuzzling herself into a stricken Shaltear's side.

...whoever she is. I'm sure there's a perfectly logical reason for all this.

 _ **"Is that all you have to say?"**_

"Oi! If I wanted to run away I would've used my damn ring and bolted back to my guild!" thus speaking, he thrust up his hand, revealing the glistening sapphire there for all parties to see. "The fact that I haven't speaks for itself! Ask the vampire loli if you don't believe me!"

Now it was Shaltear's turn to balk as the lich's gaze found herself.

 ** _"Explain."_**

Indeed, the vampire's already ashen expression somehow turned positively pallid.

"Well, he _did_ escape me but he didn't do _that_ to me...

 _"That?"_

The blond bristled.

"Oi, did you think I actually went and banged-

Behind him, the shadow intensified tenfold, threatening to suffocate him outright. Wisely he left that sentence unfinished. There were some buttons one simply did not press, and he knew better than to do attempt such a thing, no matter how irked he was with this situation. Besides, it was somewhat gratifying to see his adversary squirm in his place.

-but I don't know where _she_ came from, Ains-sama!" the creature of the night has only just begun to wrap up her tale as he came back to herself. "This little runt might _look_ like me but she can't possibly be my-

"Mama!" the girl interjected with a happy chirrup, sending Shaltear into a fresh paroxysm of agony as she held tight to her waist.

"In any case, we can decide who she is and what to do with her, later, can't we?" the vampire pleaded, trying in vain to wriggle free both from the weight of her master's gaze as well as her progeny's unyielding grasp, "If you'll just let me-

"No," Ains interjected forcefully. "She may stay for now. I'd like to get to the bottom of this while all parties are still present. Punishment will be meted out accordingly, if need be.

"Was that a threat just now, bone boy?"

 _ **"Consider it a promise, sage."**_

Something clicked just then.

The laughter, when it came, surprised him even more than it did his host. He nearly bent double, clutching in vain at his stomach, to no avail. A fresh set of guffaws ripped through him despite his best efforts and he nearly flung himself to the floor as his shoulders shook. Ah. Now it all made sense. He'd been like this, once. Regarding everything and everyone as an enemy, unwilling to trust anyone, unwilling to involve himself in mortal affair, or anything, such was his broken mindset. And while Ains might well be on the way to discarding such thoughts, he could sympathize with that.

It was...almost ironic really.

"The Great Forest hereby enters into an alliance with Nazarick!"

A beat of silence followed.

...what?"

"No, its just...I understand now. There's a fundamental difference in the way we think. I can respect that."

Those hellish eyes rounded on him with frightful intensity.

"And what difference might that be?"

Naruto raised a finger.

"Let me present you with a likely scenario; if intruders were to infiltrate your home, you'd likely kill them as a matter of principle, would you not? Based on what I've seen thus far, I'd say you probably would." he nodded. "You'd slaughter them to a man. Why? Because you'd consider that a mercy. I, on the other hand, would give them a choice. Call it the whim of someone who's lived entirely too long, but I believe in second chances. Let us say someone, or several someones, were to assault my home in the Great Forest. I would give each of them one chance; one opportunity, to lay down their weapons and swear their allegiance to me."

Was that pity or scorn in the lich's gaze just now? He almost challenged him, but in the end, thought better of it.

"Isn't that a bit foolish of you, Sage? Some might even call such a mindset woefully naive."

Tilting his head aside, the whiskered warrior flashed the elder lich a small rueful smile.

...of course, if each of them refused my most generous offer, they'd have to die."

"I may not agree with you there, but I can understand your decision."

"Well said! What do you say, then? Do we have an accord...?"

It came as something of a surprise when he nodded.

"Which brings us to the matter of the girl, then."

The girl blinked at them both, baffled.

"Well, she needs a name...

 **A/N: Decided to end things on a different note.**

 **Also, names for Naruto and Shalltear's "daughter" would be nice, because I'm STILL bloody stuck. And yes, the previews are ALL coming, its merely a matter of when. Just because I've listed somethign doesn't mean it'll pop up in the next chapter ya know?**

 **So...in the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review, Would You Kindly? And of course, enjoy the previews! Hope it makes you smile. And Review! Or face the wrath of AINS!**

 **Its going to be a nice LOOOOOONG chapter filled with action, humor, and all the good bits!**

 **Remember that crystal Naruto swiped from Nigun?**

 ***grins***

 **(Preview)**

 _Ains laughed._

 _It was a deep, throaty sound that had no business issuing from a human throat, much less that of an elder lich._

 _In that moment, Naruto wondered if he'd blundered by suggesting this._

 _"A spar, you say? I would not be opposed to that!"_

* * *

 _Regarding the intruders who'd dared to trespass upon his garden, the sage rose from his throne._

 _"Hello, hello! How are you! Welcome to Great Forest! How can I help you today?"_

 _Thus clapping his hands, the elf leaned forward._

 _"Now then, will it be death or loyalty?"_

 **R &R! =D**


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